Talk:The Merger (The Office)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 00:04, 8 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lede: I would add characters first names in the intro
Lede: Any noteworthy production info that could go in this section?
Plot: "(throughout the episode they interact in a friendly but awkward manner)" This is kind of fancrufty and not really needed..
Plot: "No. 2" and "number two" are both used. I'd pick one
Plot: The section about Karen and Phyllis last only, like, 30 seconds in the episode, why is it a third of the plot summary?
Plot: Maybe use "overweight" instead of "hefty"
Reception: You mention the Staples product placement. Is this the episode where Kevin plays with the Staples shredder, and the scenes were then cut from re-broadcast? If so, maybe you should add that in somewhere, maybe in production.
References: On Ref. 10, there is a double period

That's really all I can find. Although the image is just two people, it is an important scene in the context of the series, so I think it's justified. One hold.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 15:56, 13 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I've made most of the changes, but am still looking for info on the Staples commercial (busy traveling currently, so this may take a little more time). I'll post here once I've added something. Thanks for reviewing! Ruby 2010/2013 03:00, 14 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

No problem. I'll keep it on hold until you can find what you need. :)--Gen. Quon (Talk) 03:06, 14 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I've added info on Kevin's Staples scene. Website Magazine might look questionable, but the article was posted by Peter A. Prestipino, the site's editor-in-chief. I believe it is thus a RS due to its editorial staff. Also, it is only one of three references I am using to cite the sentence (so the onus of verification is not being placed solely on it). Thanks again for the review. Ruby 2010/2013 21:43, 14 August 2012 (UTC)[reply]