Wikipedia talk:Wiki Ed/Rutgers University--New Brunswick/Kitchen Chemistry and Food Physics (Spring 2017)
Welcome[edit]
Hello Rutgers students. While you're enthusiasm is appreciated, the nutrition and snacks sections were not up encyclopedic standards. I would recommend taking a look at a few similar pages before making edits.
Some problems were:
Improper tone
"This is beneficial because we want to avoid too much cholesterol because it leads to a higher chance of heart disease."
One problem with this sentence is the use of the word "we". Remember, you are not having a conversation with future readers. The tone should be impersonal and precise. For more see Wikipedia:Writing_better_articles#Tone. If it helps, imagine how an old bored professor might talk about the subject.
and
Claims without sources
"Like normal crêpes, crêpe snacks are made from wheat flour, sugar, butter, salt, milk and other flavor ingredients. The highest portion of the nutrition facts of crêpe snacks is the carbohydrate, mostly from wheat flour and sugar. Also these crêpe snacks contains fat from butter."
The subject is great, I had no idea that filled and packaged crepes were available in stores. However, most packaged pastries use hydrogenated oils rather than butter and it is very likely that is is true for crepes as well. If you are going to say that some brands use ingredients typical of a home cook, you might want to provide a source. In that case you might say
"Crepes are also available pre-filled in shelf stable packages. In order to allow for long term storage packaged crepes may include preservatives. However, BRANDX released a line of refrigerated packaged crepes in November of 2014 that used only traditional ingredients.(source)"
There were other problems but these two would be a good place to start.
Happy Editing 2601:1C0:6100:628E:343D:F26B:EBF7:CA5A (talk) 12:29, 6 April 2017 (UTC)