Wikipedia:Peer review/The Wedding Dance/archive1

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The Wedding Dance[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to get it further than it currently is. I wish to get it up to FA standard. It is currently a GA but I want to get it further.

Thanks, ⇒TAP 09:08, 17 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sigh. Its way off being FA standard! I honestly can't see it becoming a featured article.♦ Dr. Blofeld 13:58, 17 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm, okay! I'll just use the peer review of what can be done to make it better. Regards, ⇒TAP 14:00, 17 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think you need to clarify Voyerism, what does your sentence mean? I see you have implemented some more of earlier suggestions. Have you been able to get a super high resolution so that you can have a zoom in of the table? Where is the groom? Graeme Bartlett (talk) 02:35, 18 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Voyerism:  not needed, standard English. Image: Nope. ⇒TAP 20:05, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Done. ⇒TAP 20:05, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  •  Checked, links fine. ⇒TAP 20:05, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • I think the word "painting" is used eight times in two paras of the lead, somewhat repetitive. Can we not mix it up a little, using alternative words?
  •  Included. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • " an oil on panel " I imagine that "oil-on-panel" should be hyphenated here.
  •  Done. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which was found in 1930 in " -> "discovered in 1930"?
  •  Done. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the infobox you link "oil painting" which is pretty obvious to most people but not "tempera" which I don't believe is obvious to most people.
  •  Done. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Consider linking "Renaissance period".
  •  Done in lead. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Along with The Peasant Wedding (1567) and The Peasant Dance (1569), which share the same wedding theme and elements, were painted in the same..." grammatically incorrect.
  •  Reworded. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Who is "Robert L. Bonn " and why should his opinion be important?
  •  Included. Author, see his website. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Same comment for "Walter S. Gibson ".
  •  Included. Art historian. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • " Voyeurism is depicted throughout the entire painting.[16]" this is identical to the lead. You're supposed to expand upon it in the main body.
  •  Expanded. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Last sentence of "Description" is wayyyy long.
  •  Split. ⇒TAP 15:49, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The Rambling Man (talk) 10:57, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Nice work. Good luck with it in the future! The Rambling Man (talk) 15:59, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! My initial aim was FA, but I guess that won't happen. ⇒TAP 17:19, 22 June 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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