Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Arthur W. Radford/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was promoted by Ian Rose 10:01, 16 March 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

Arthur W. Radford[edit]

Arthur W. Radford (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): —Ed!(talk) 13:00, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article. —Ed!(talk) 13:00, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sources are clear, no problems. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:09, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Note: This is a WikiCup nomination. The following nominators are WikiCup participants: Ed!. To the nominator: if you do not intend to submit this article at the WikiCup, feel free to remove this notice. UcuchaBot (talk) 00:01, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments. As always, feel free to revert my copyediting. Please check the edit summaries. - Dank (push to talk)

  • "the local congressman's appointment to the academy": Not sure what that is ... his recommendation?
  • Some words to search for that you sometimes use too often in the same paragraph: "also", "oversaw".
  • So far so good on prose per standard disclaimer, down to where I stopped, about two-thirds of the way, at Arthur_W._Radford#Commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet. These are my edits. This is much better, but I've got some big projects cooking and I can't spend as much time at FAC. I'll try to make time for another look later on, if you need it. - Dank (push to talk) 03:34, 1 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support on prose per standard disclaimer. I finished up. I may not have always understood your meaning; feel free to reword or discuss. - Dank (push to talk) 23:14, 15 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

  • Why is it said in the lead that he commanded carrier battle groups when he commanded carrier divisions?
  • Shouldn't the detail of his marriage in 1939 be moved to a more chronologically relevant section of the article rather than just after he was commissioned in 1916?
  • Does anyone say who Radford served as Aide-de-Camp and Flag Lieutenant to and in which Battleship Divisions?
    • I can't find any reliable sources saying exactly. —Ed!(talk) 14:44, 26 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What was Towers's appointment at the time Radford served as his Chief of Staff after Tarawa?
  • Mention Radford's appointment as High Commissioner of the Pacific Islands Trust Territory after the discussion of his service as Vice Chief of Naval Operations.
  • What month was the carrier United States cancelled? —Simon Harley (Talk | Library). 17:46, 25 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Fixed, thanks for looking this over! —Ed!(talk) 14:44, 26 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support as all my concerns have been addressed where possible. —Simon Harley (Talk | Library). 08:44, 28 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Images: fine, as expected: all US Federal Works.

Comment: Is the "Later Life" suitably extensive? That is to say, clear it's short, but is that suitably comprehensive? The man clearly had extensive military experience, and advised two Presidential campaigns... did he support particular schemes of the candidates? Did he have any noteworthy private roles? Grandiose (me, talk, contribs) 15:33, 26 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

In his instance I haven't found a lot to discuss his post-military career. Looked through some of the campaign resources, and nothing specifically attributed to Radford is mentioned. —Ed!(talk) 15:59, 26 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I think I could add a line or two about Nixon and Goldwater's campaign ideas related to the military, but none of it is specifically credited to Radford, and I'm afraid it would be SYNTH to imply these were his idea. —Ed!(talk)

Comments

  • I put a citation needed tag in one place.
  • The section entitled Post-war years it says "In the post-war period he was a strong advocate that naval aviation programs be maintained." : Who is he?
  • Why does the World War I Victory Medal have a star? Vazeer Akbar (talk) 10:29, 7 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Fixed. Thanks for your review. —Ed!(talk) 14:02, 7 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Support the article looks great! Great work! Vazeer Akbar (talk) 14:18, 7 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Delegate note -- Ed, just FYI, I'll leave this nom open a bit longer to give the article a chance to be reviewed by a non-MilHist/Ships person as well. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:29, 8 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I will review, as a non-MilHist/Ships person. Sandbh (talk) 08:03, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Am also copyediting as I go. Sandbh (talk) 09:24, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
'With an interest in ships and aircraft from a young age, Radford saw his first sea duty aboard a battleship during World War I."

  • Specify which ship this was.

'…and was a central figure in the "Revolt of the Admirals".'

  • Say something, in summary form, about what the Revolt of the Admirals was about.

Early life
'John Radford managed the first steam turbine engines in the United States, at the Fisk Street Generating Station.'

  • Not sure of the relevance of this sentence?
    • Establishes a little bit about his life growing up. anyway, it's one of the few details about his early life that is published. —Ed!(talk) 00:44, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

'He gained an interest in aviation during a visit to the World Fair in San Fransisco, California.'

  • In what year was this fair?

More to follow. Sandbh (talk) 09:24, 10 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Post-war years
'…but his appointments were opposed by Fleet Admiral Chester Nimitz, who feared his hard-line stance on the budget would alienate the other branches.'

  • Which appointments are being referred to?
  • What are the 'other branches'?

'Then, in 1949, Truman appointed him as the High Commissioner of the Trust Territory of the Pacific Islands.'

  • I'm not sure what the relevance of this sentence is. Its placement at the end of the paragraph, and its use of an opening 'Then' makes it sound very dramatic, but when I read it I couldn't see the relevance. Does it have something to do with the next paragraph, which says: 'In April 1949, Truman appointed Radford to the position of Commander of the U.S. Pacific Fleet.' If so, what is the connection?
    • See above comments; another reviwer wanted that sentence moved there. —Ed!(talk) 00:44, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Copy editing all done. Once the above comments have been addressed I expect I will support FAC status for this well-written article. Sandbh (talk) 02:41, 11 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

    • Responded to everything. Thanks for your review! —Ed!(talk) 00:44, 13 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Tks for joining in, Sandbh -- I'll assume unless we hear from the contrary soon that you're happy with Ed's responses/actions... Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:27, 14 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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