Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/All About That Bass/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 30 April 2019 [1].

All About That Bass[edit]

Nominator(s): NØ and Lips are movin 21:48, 25 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about "All About That Bass", the debut single by American singer-songwriter Meghan Trainor. It was nominated for two Grammy awards and topped the charts in 58 countries, including 8 weeks atop the US Billboard Hot 100. Despite being one of the few songs to ever go diamond, it garnered controversy for faux-empowerment and alleged skinny shaming. Thus due to its heavy commercial success as well as negative attention, I believe we have created an article that has huge coverage, neutrality, is about a really successful song and can be considered some of Wikipedia's best work. Commentary is appreciated.--NØ 21:48, 25 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Lirim.Z
  • There is no need to use flatlist in the infobox; see Template:Infobox song#Notes
  • prev_title = and year can be removed, as they are unused
  • Developed in September 2013 by Trainor and American songwriter and producer Kevin Kadish, "All About That Bass" was written in 40 minutes It is way easier and makes more sense to just say: "All About That Bass" was written in 40 minutes by Trainor alongside American songwriter and producer Kevin Kadish in September 2013.
  • An "All About That Bass" EP was released in Austria, Germany, and Switzerland on October 3, 2014. "All About That Bass" EP was released in German-speaking Europe on October 3, 2014
  • Are the numbers given in the Chart performance section pure sales or a combination with single equivalent units?
  • Is there nothing that could be said about the success in the Asian music market?--Lirim | Talk 12:29, 26 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Addressed these. The numbers given in the chart section are pure sales wherever chart positions are talked about, and equivalents wherever certifications are talked about. The only Asian market it charted in is Japan at number 10; which seems too less information to have a separate subsection. Look forward to more comments!--NØ 15:57, 26 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is the used cover for the digital version?
  • It was also regularly performed during her 2015 concert tours That Bass Tour and the MTrain Tour, as well as The Untouchable Tour (2016). Can be shortened to: It was also included on the setlist of ...
  • When was the music video pubished on YouTube/Vevo?
  • On September 4, 2014, It's better to say "Two days later"
  • Try to swtich up wording in the live performances section. Starting so many sentences with "On" sounds quite silly
  • The 10,000,000 units claim in the certification table should be changed to an exact sales number
--Lirim | Talk 18:47, 27 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Done all except the last one. The last reported pure sales figure for the song was in February 2015, when Nielsen reported 4.6M sales. My concern is that the number is too outdated to be substituted in the certifications box, since the song continued to sell a lot in 2015. Every recent source that I can find has reported the 10M figure (which is clearly SPS); [2][3]). Do you think we should substitute it anyway?—NØ 19:41, 27 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Comments, leaning towards Oppose

The article now is certainly up to GA quality, but it is not up to FA quality to my knowledge. I've read through the lead and the first section, and come up with the following issues:

  • Lead
    • "All About That Bass" is the debut single by American singer-songwriter Meghan Trainor. ... the song was included on her debut extended play, Title, and debut major-label studio album of the same name from 2014 and 2015, respectively, serving as the lead single from both." → too wordy, "debut single" already implies that it is the lead single from both albums; I'd suggest shortening it to something like "... the debut single by Meghan Trainor, taken from her debut EP and studio album, both of which named Title"
    • Maybe adding year of the Grammy ceremony in the lead?
    • "All About That Bass" sold 11 million copies worldwide, becoming the third best-selling song of 2014 and one of the best-selling singles of all time → the source does not support the claim "one of the best-selling singles of all time"; I'd retain "The single was the third best-selling song of 2014 with sales of 11 million copies"; plus sources should not be included in the lead
    • "pink pastel aesthetic" I'm not sure if you can describe an aesthetic as "pink pastel", maybe pink pastel theme or color tone?
    • The lead lists performances on several TV programs. While this is factually correct, I don't really recommend listing TV programs, which is an inevitable part of promotion of any song, in the lead. I'd only include the song's inclusion in tours or major award shows
    • Maybe you can add the song's impact on "The Era of Big Booty" in the lead? It's worth mentioning imo
  • Writing and production
    • "At the time the song was written, Trainor lacked a recording contract but was writing tracks for other artists" → You don't need "the song was written" because "At the time" already implies that it was during which Trainor was writing this song; "lacked a recording contract" sounds bizarre: did Trainor "lack" it as part of her job application? I'd write "Trainor had yet to obtain a contract"
    • "The pair wrote the song with the intention of handing it to another recording artist." → wordy; I'd shorten it to "The pair intended the song for another recording artist". For FA, it's important to say what it means to say in a succinct manner. So far the article is filled with wordy expressions that hindered the flow.
    • What is "thickness" supposed to mean?
    • "the genre was very catchy" → bad wording
    • "envisioned the song to feature a theme of girl power" can be "envisioned a theme of girl power for the song"; to me a sentence should contain only one verb to highlight the meaning
    • "They pitched the song to a variety of record labels, but all of them were critical of the same reason, which was also attributed to the song's lack of a synthesizer or Auto-Tune.[14][11] The song was further criticized for not having a "big chorus", a suggestion that Trainor and Kadish balked at.[7]" → "a variety of" is wordy; you can shorten it to something like "... labels, who were critical of the song's lack of a synthesizer, Auto-Tune, and a "big chorus", which were considered elements of a commercial success"
    • "Trainor recorded a demo of the song and met Paul Pontius, who was the A&R for Epic Records chairman L.A. Reid, and performed the track for him" → there are two "and"s in this sentence, which corrupts the flow

So far I'm not confident that this article is up to FA at the moment. Not taking into account sources and media, the writing is certainly not up to quality. — HĐ (talk) 02:12, 30 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I have read through the following sections, and I have to oppose. The article does not satisfy criterion 1-a (well-written): it's filled with wordy expressions, which could be cut down to convey the meaning in a more succinct manner; passive voice is prevalent, which is not encouraged ("it was noted", "it has been described" who made such assumptions? / "it was accompanied by a music video" should only be "the music video for the song", and so on). I suggest that the nominators take this article to GOCE or PR to have a detailed read-through/grammar check before FAC. HĐ (talk) 09:09, 30 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose

I'm going to agree with the above oppose by HĐ. The prose needs a good going over and I suggest you withdraw this, work on polishing, take it through PR, polish it some more, then come back again.

Lead
  • Three uses of "debut" in the opening two sentences
  • "Some publications praised it": use the name at the first mention of the paragraph and swap it with the name in the second sentence
  • "noted for its pink pastel aesthetic" Not sure that's the right word, and I'm not sure that was what was "noted" for. It certainly has a pastel 1950s-theme, but that's not why it was "noted".
Writing
  • "At the time the song was written, Trainor lacked a recording contract". This is a bit clunky and could be smoothed out. "At the time, Trainor was not under a recording contract" is one possibility.
  • "Suggesting the topics "booty" and thickness for the song": I have no idea what this is supposed to mean
  • "along with doo-wop since Trainor felt that the genre was very catchy." Again, very clunky and can be smoothed out. "Trainor and Kadish discussed their love for 1950s music, and decided to incorporate the style into the song[5] along with doo-wop; Trainor described the genre as "the catchiest stuff"" would be better, but that still lacks elegance
  • "envisioned the song to feature a theme of girl power" "envisioned" is the wrong word to use
  • "due to": always one to avoid. There is nothing wrong in using "because of"
  • "experiences with weight insecurities during adolescence": -> "his insecurity about his weight during adolescence"

That's all to the end of the second paragraph of the Writing section. It needs a good going over before coming back again I think and, as I said above, I'd recommend withdrawing this nom, getting it copy edited and proofed, then bringing it back again. I think you are both first-timers at FAC (forgive me if I'm wrong), but if you are, I'll bring your attention to the part of the FAC instructions: "Editors considering their first nomination, and any subsequent nomination before their first FA promotion, are strongly advised to seek the involvement of a mentor". Cheers – SchroCat (talk) 10:58, 30 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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