User talk:Vaughan J.

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Vaughan J. | TALK TO ME

AC/DC query[edit]

I've tidied up the "firings" of members, trying to provide online refs and reasons where known. Also I decided to add refs for deaths of former members. Some of these deaths are not mentioned in the main text. Do you believe George Young's death should be acknowledged in the main text? I'm okay with whatever you decide.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:52, 30 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I think it'll be okay to mention George's death. — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 23:59, 30 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

AC/DC FAC[edit]

You have my best wishes on your submission to FAC. However, I won't be able to assist further on the journey of this article. Have fun.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:58, 23 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

No worries! — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 04:59, 23 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Source check: consider diff, which added Wall of Sound article written by brownypaul. User name: Brownypaul87 is almost same as writer (and editor-in-chief) of website. See also my discussion with this user at Talk:Amy Shark. I've just raised the website at WP:RSN. You should consider replacing it where possible.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:09, 28 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
P.S. I pointed this out when I reviewed it for GA 3. shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:14, 28 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

As requested I've started a paragraph on early 1970s Australian pop scene. I've concentrated on Australian pub rock. You may need to add info on glam rock (as that's their early style). You will also have to check formatting of refs and latter wikilinks which should be de-linked now. Enjoy.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 21:56, 29 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much. I have now merged two sentences to the top, mentioning the glam rock style then the change to be glam to pub. Does that sound fine? — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 00:13, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I think that first ¶'s content should be more general and address the Australian contemporary music scene. Its confusing to mention AC/DC band members in this ¶ thereby preempting the later ¶¶ in the section. Try something like, "Other pub rock pioneers were Blackfeather and Buffalo. Amongst the popular newer Australian artists were mainstream pop bands Sherbet and Skyhooks, with the latter adopting a glam rock approach." shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:36, 30 January 2024 (UTC)09:37, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
shaidar cuebiyar: Any refs to add on to that sentence? — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 09:45, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
See Pub rock (Australia) Origins 3rd¶ and Rock music in Australia#Early "Third wave" 4th¶ and 6th¶. You should be able to harvest refs from there. shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:52, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Gotcha. Thank you. — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 10:00, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
shaidar cuebiyar: How does it look right now? — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 10:24, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Superb! I'm impressed.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 19:18, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Do you want to mention context for AC/DC's ambitions to succeed in UK and US? If so, consider Ayers Rock Australian music scene ¶2, you could add the Easybeats to list of Australian artists which had "little commercial success" in UK. If so, probably insert 1960s in the sentence starting with "Many artists..." and reduce the number of examples to three in total.

These ambitions were fuelled by George and Vanda's efforts to enter the UK market as members of the Easys (and later groups) as well as Burgess with the Masters and even Scott's attempt with Fraternity.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 19:40, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Yep. Just added it. — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 23:03, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Could you check the sentences at the start of: Malcolm Young retires... Do they look okay, now?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 12:19, 6 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

It looks pretty good to me. — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 12:23, 6 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Forgot to ping: shaidar cuebiyar — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 12:26, 6 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've had a go at a few of the remaining ones. You should check.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 13:07, 16 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good! — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 21:30, 16 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'm sadden by the withdrawal but understand your rationale. Keep the AC/DC flag flying, all the best with your future endeavours.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 00:52, 23 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I have added a peer review due to one of the reviewers requesting to do that. Hopefully after that, we might have a chance to get in FA then. Thanks mate. — VAUGHAN J. (TALK) 08:15, 26 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hey shaidar cuebiyar, so the AC/DC article was massively copyedited for WP:GOCE. If you have time, are you able to copyedit the article to make it Aussie English? — VAUGHAN J. (t · c) 00:46, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@shaidar cuebiyar: How do you feel that the article can be an FAC now? — VAUGHAN J. (t · c) 22:50, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Consider the following:
Lead
  1. "bassist" > "bass guitarist" (double bass players are also bassists)  Done
  2. "blues rock, and" > "blues rock and" (Australian English rarely has a comma before "and") May need removal elsewhere.  Done
  3. "exclusively in Australia"? I thought it was issued in New Zealand, too.  Done
  4. "at the request of Scott's parents, they continued together and recruited English singer Johnson as their new front man" implies Scott's parents wanted Johnson as front man?  Done
  5. hard space for ordinals? first album > first album  Done
    1. second-best-selling > second best-selling  Done
  6. "Prior to the release of Flick of the Switch (1983), Rudd left AC/DC" contradicts main text "Rudd was fired partway through the Flick of the Switch sessions". The former implies Rudd decided to leave voluntarily rather than being fired for drug and alcohol issues.  Done
  7. "Rudd was involved in legal troubles" cf. "Rudd was charged with threatening to kill, possession of methamphetamine, and possession of cannabis" The former seems rather light-weight summary of the latter.  Done
  8. "Axl Rose stepped in as the band's front man" I'd change "front man" to "interim lead singer" or similar, surely by that time Angus is their front man? Or is "front man" always the lead vocalist?  Done
Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:04, 7 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Formation and name
  1. Delink previously linked terms: the Easybeats, the Masters Apprentices both linked twice in this sectn;  Done
  2. Consider WP:UNDUE per prominence of "Mick Sheffzick". Does he need to mentioned at all?
  • This was before the band was formed, so I believe he needs to be mentioned.
  2. If you believe he does, "recruited" and "eventually replaced" implies Sheffzick joined AC/DC.  Fixed
  3. "In their early days" is a vague, hackneyed phrase. Try, "For about 18 months" or similar. I see Angus as Zorro in website photo, dated December 1974. So he was still trying different outfits, well after school boy.  Done
  4. "Malcolm and Angus developed the idea for the band's name" > "Upon formation Malcolm and Angus had developed the band's name". I assume they were named back in November 1973? Current wording suggests that they were named after April 1974 (last mentioned date, from previous paragraph).  Done
  5. Fix "firstvsingle"  Done
  6. The timeline between AC/DC supporting Lou Reed in August 1974 to Scott joining them in September 1974 needs further work:
  1. Clarification needed: "received a call weeks after the gig" and "Following the gig, they hired" Is this the same gig?
  • Nope. Fixed.
  2. Is "they were stuck in Adelaide" the same time referred to by "during their stopover in Adelaide"?
  • Now that I'm looking at it, not really. Bon first saw the band in Adelaide probably before or during the Lou Reed tour. After the Lou Reed tour and their residency at Perth's Beethoven Disco, they got back to Adelaide, Loughlin then quit managing, then Malcolm called Browning for help.
Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:55, 7 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Bon Scott joins

  1. "first concert as AC/DC's lead vocalist was on" > "first concert for AC/DC was on" being lead vocalist has already been established.  Done
  2. Adjust sentence starting with "They released the second single..." when? Also that sentance is over-long. Once it's split shift "It reached the top ten in Australia." so it refers to the single not the music video.  Done

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 10:49, 7 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Initial success and record deal

  1. "was cancelled following the death" > "was cancelled due to the death" or similar. Currently implies that Kossoff died in April after AC/DC arrived – he had died in mid-March.  Done
  2. "until their label organised" Any indication when that tour started?  Done
  3. "in the same year" 2005? (Most recently referred to year)  Done
  4. "in both Australian and European versions, like its predecessor" I'm not sure which predecessor is being referred to here. I'd get rid of the final phrase.  Done

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 12:28, 7 May 2024 (UTC)12:30, 7 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Cliff Williams joins and death of Bon Scott

  • Possible problem: "two years before they played their first US concert". Consider: "US" (United States) is used here as an adjective, which grammatically should be "American"? But the word "American" is already used in the sentence. Rewrite it to make it sound better.  Done
  • "experienced the US stadium circuit" > "experienced the country's stadium circuit" (See previous)  Done

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 01:47, 8 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Brian Johnson joins and rebirth

  1. "Scott's parents advised the members that he would have wanted them to carry on, so they decided to continue and sought a new vocalist." > "Scott's parents advised the members that he would have wanted them to continue, hence they sought a new vocalist."  Done
  2. "At the advice of Lange" Seems contradicted by Angus later "[Johnson] was the first name". The former implies Lange introduced Johnson as a possible candidate. The latter has the Young brothers already decided to include Johnson as a candidate before any auditions.  Done
  3. "On 29 March, Malcolm offered" Probably needs the year in there, rather than later in the same paragraph.  Done

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:32, 8 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Line-up changes and commercial decline

  1. Shift ref tab to after punctuation: "top five in Australia[30] and Finland.[111]" > "top five in Australia and Finland.[30][111]" Check similar elsewhere.
  2. Why no mention of Simon Wright's background? Typically the article describes entering members better than this.
  3. "and popular songs such as" suggests you'll describe two or more of them. I'd go for "and the popular" or similar.
  4. Likewise, some examples of Slade's prior work?

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:51, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  1. How long was Malcolm gone?shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:33, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Popularity regained

  1. "it reached number two on the Billboard 200" Why is this charting separtaed from listing of top three spots earlier in ¶?
  2. "Several shows on the Razors Edge World Tour were" Probably needs "1991" before shows. The tour lasted from November 1990 to November 1991 but the album appeared in October 1992. The current sentence implies the shows were recorded in 1992.
  3. "of the '90s by" full year for WP, even if source has "'90s"
  4. "was rehired to replace Slade." What did Slade do, next?

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:33, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Popularity confirmed

  1. "was issued as a single" When? Same for other singles.
  2. "AC/DC were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2003.[164]" Consider moving to next ¶ and provide more detail of this momentous event, here. e.g. which members and presenter. Try not to cover same material as mentioned later: Awards and achievements ¶3.
  3. "Verizon Wireless gained the rights" Chronologically out of place.
  4. "comprehensive Blu-ray and DVD of" Wikilink both video formats? First mention in article, remember to delink subsequent ones.

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:52, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Black Ice and tour

  1. "supporting the new album," Given the tour's name, this is redundant.
  2. "; it plays" > ", which plays"
  3. "along with interviews with band members" > "along with band member interviews" (too much "with").
  4. "3×CD/2×DVD/LP box set" Generally the "/" symbol suggests either/or whereas the Deluxe Edition had 3×CD, 2×DVD and 1×LP; while the Standard Edition had 2×CD and 1×DVD. In any case, the summary description here is misleading.
  5. "issued on Record Store Day." I'm not sure whether typical non-Americans know about these annual events, but a qualifier like "April" or "November" (which ever pertains) would help.
  6. Consider reordering "On 19 November 2012, AC/DC released Live at River Plate on CD, their first live album in 20 years" to "AC/DC issued their first live album in 20 years, Live at River Plate, on CD on 19 November 2012" or similar. This varies the "on/in {date} blah blah happened..." format from previous sentence (very common in this article).

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:20, 9 May 2024 (UTC)05:22, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Malcolm Young retires and hiatus

  1. "Due to Malcolm's illness," Insert "severe" or similar.
  2. Some of the "2014"s in this section can be deleted as implicit.
  3. "but all its compositions" > "nevertheless all its compositions" or similar.
  4. "supporting world tour to promote it," delete redundancy.
  5. "photographed together with former drummer Chris Slade." > "photographed with Slade."
  6. "denied a discharge without conviction" Should the article explicitly state that due to Rudd's criminal convictions he is banned from touring some territories?

Enjoy your work.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:02, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reunion and Power Up

  1. "were back and working with the band again" Delete "and", "again".
  2. "further indicating that Williams had also rejoined the band" Delete "further", "the band"
  3. Delete some "2020" from ¶2.

Enjoy your work.

That's it for me, I'll let you do the rest.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:34, 9 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

tCE PR[edit]

I thought the PR had lapsed.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:38, 14 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I only made the PR as section 4, per other PR's. Is that fine? — VAUGHAN J. (t · c) 02:49, 14 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Seems to work. shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:22, 14 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sheffzick[edit]

Hi, I'm just querying the addition of Sheffzick to the AC/DC members page. I haven't reverted you but I think saying he was a member of AC/DC is a real stretch. The band hadn't been named, and never played a gig with him in the lineup. He really just knocked about in some pre-band rehearsals. Engleheart's book doesn't actually talk about him being a member of AC/DC, and I don't think any other source mentions him at all. It's more accurate to say he was recruited with what would become AC/DC in mind, but was offloaded before the band was properly formed. He might be better suited to a footnote somewhere. It's also worth pointing out that if we decide Sheffzick was part of some original lineup of the band, then neither Dave Evans nor Angus were original members, as their arrival came after Sheffzick had left. If we take Engleheart's word exactly as he's written it, that "lineup" appeared to be Malcolm, Sheffzick and Burgess, which doesn't look like a full band to me – it doesn't appear to have had a vocalist. Bretonbanquet (talk) 02:49, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Actually, as I was writing that, you've put him in the "others" section, so I guess that's more appropriate. Bretonbanquet (talk) 02:52, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I kinda figured that you sent it during the time. — VAUGHAN J. (t · c) 03:06, 6 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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