Template:Did you know nominations/Berengaria of Castile

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 10:54, 27 April 2015 (UTC)

Berengaria of Castile[edit]

Statue of Queen Berengaria

  • ... that Queen Berengaria of Castile ruled for less than three months, abdicated in favor of her son, and was responsible for re-uniting León and Castile under his rule?

Improved to Good Article status by 1bandsaw (talk), Adamgarrigus (talk). Nominated by 1bandsaw (talk) at 23:44, 15 March 2015 (UTC).

  • I reviewed this at GAR so I know that it passes policies on length, when it was promoted/nominated, sources etc. But I think the hook provided is too complex. It has three DYK's in it, as it were. It's a bit long and it isn't snappy or quick to read. I suggest only using one of the three clauses/points. Ideally, the best hooks are the shortest ones. I don't think someone would take the time to read a hook as long as this to be completely honest. You want one really good, short, too the point hook, which will make the reader interested, then hopefully click on the link to the article. Having three points in a long hook would make them less likely to click because you've kind of already told them several things.  — ₳aron 11:13, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
ALT1: ... that after ruling less than three months, Queen Berengaria of Castile abdicated in favor of her son? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 11:18, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
ALT1 works fine for me, or could try
ALT2 ... that Queen Berengaria of Castile was responsible for reuniting Castile and León? 1bandsaw (talk) 17:12, 24 March 2015 (UTC)
  • Full review needed by new independent reviewer, since Aaron is ineligible to review this nomination per WP:DYKSG#H2: You're not allowed to approve your own hook or article, nor may you review an article if it's a recently listed Good Article that you either nominated or reviewed for GA. BlueMoonset (talk) 23:43, 17 April 2015 (UTC)
Detailed complex biography, on good sources, offline sources accepted AGF. I made minor changes, revert if you don't like it. The original hook is sourced, but of course I prefer my subset, ALT1 ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:39, 26 April 2015 (UTC)