Talk:William Montagu, 1st Earl of Salisbury/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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review started.--Auntieruth55 (talk) 18:01, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is a thorough article. Before I act on the good Article Assessment, I suggest that you pay attention to a few of your "awkward" moments. For example:

  • end comma for phrases in overview, first sentence.
  • needs a separate "Sources Cited section".
  • Were Isabella and Mortimer regents for the king? That sentence is awkward.
  • section on coup confusing. Who met up with the king? Mortimer or Montagu? Who was brawling?
  • "disguised as merchants not to be recognised" ... so as not to be recognized?
  • "It was after this event that his lordship over the Isle of Man was recognised..." wordiness!! ... after this event his lordship *over the Isle of Man was recognised...."
  • Redlinks
  • comital, explain this term, either parenthetically, or with a short phrase. also possible wikilink.
  • Robert Ufford, Earl of Suffolk who was captured with him ... Robert Ufford, Earl of Suffolk, who was captured with him

I suggest that you ask one of the guild of copy editors to give you some assistance in this. Basically, style and punctuation are between you and the Good article. Drop a line on my user discussion page when you've got it in order -- these are minor details, but they will make a difference in the clarity of your prose. thanks for the hard work! --Auntieruth55 (talk) 18:21, 30 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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