Talk:Pool Party (The Office)

Pool Party (The Office) has been listed as one of the Media and drama good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.

Pool Party (The Office) is part of the The Office (American season 8) series, a good topic. This is identified as among the best series of articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you can update or improve it, please do so.

Article milestones
Date	Process	Result
May 12, 2012	Good article nominee	Listed
November 7, 2012	Good topic candidate	Promoted

Current status: Good article

Television: Episode coverage / The Office Low‑importance

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GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pool Party (The Office)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Basilisk4u (talk · contribs) 14:51, 24 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I will review this article. Cheers! Basilisk4u (talk) 14:51, 24 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Review[edit]

Lead

Plot

"Andy also brings an engagement ring his Jessica-approving mother gave him, after carefully removing the large centerpiece diamond because she wanted Andy's younger brother to have it, although he's not sure what to do with it." This sentence is a bit long. I'm not sure if the part about the centerpiece diamond is absolutely necessary. Perhaps it could be "Andy also brings an engagement ring his Jessica-approving mother gave him, planning to propose."
"The ring goes missing from Andy's pants and he is horrified at first that he can't find it, and later when Kelly and Phyllis pick it up and decide it's evil and must be destroyed." I am confused about the second part of the sentence, it seems to be a fragment. It could be "The ring goes missing from Andy's pants and he is horrified at first that he cannot find it. Kelly and Phyllis later find the ring and decide it is evil and must be destroyed due to its odd appearance."
"he asks Andy for his OK" --> "he asks Andy for his consent"
"Andy then gives it" --> "Andy then agrees"

Production

Looks good :)

Cultural references

"He mentions early on in the episode that, "The 1% are hurting too!" You could add "a reference to the slogan of the Occupy movement."

Reviews

"A variety of reviewers found the cold-opening funny." Explain briefly what the cold opening was in this episode.

On hold[edit]

Okay I have finished the review and put it on hold in order for some concerns to be addressed! Good luck :) Basilisk4u (talk) 13:45, 12 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

All right, I believe I've addressed all your concerns. Thank you for reviewing this!--Gen. Quon (talk) 14:57, 12 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

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