Talk:Lordship of Coshmaing

Lead tone

The following discussion is closed and will soon be archived:

The tone and format of the lead of this article would not seem to be entirely in keeping with WP:LEAD and WP:TONE. The tone is quite discursive, and (for example) attributes a perception and knowledge to "Irish people" in a way that I haven't seen in any other similar article. For example: "many Irish people are very familiar with titles of English derivation". Are they? Really? Have we a cite to back that up? Further "There are Irishmen seated on the SCICC who are accurately and legitimately styled as Prince and Lord". Are there? According to whom? The SCICC themselves? That's all very well, but the tone and text here should be clear on what entity has defined the "accuracy and legitimacy" in question. I have not added the "" template to this statement as there are broader tonal updates that might address the broader issues. But really claims like this should be attributed. In honesty I wonder whether the current "lead" should be rewritten and re-styled as a "background" section. (With the attribution and citation issues addressed). And then a new lead written - which follows the relevant guidelines a little more closely. Not east because the lead makes absolutely no mention whatsoever (that I can see) of the SUBJECT of the article. Though perhaps I missed it...

Thoughts before I take a stab myself? Guliolopez (talk) 21:04, 10 January 2016 (UTC)

 Done Largely addressed since. Guliolopez (talk) 23:25, 17 September 2016 (UTC)