Talk:Jake Graf

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Peer reviewers: Lady-grinning-soul, Blackrose84.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:15, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Tightbowtie. Peer reviewers: Blu3v3lv3t, MrahGR.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:15, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Consider revising fluffy, cliche, and partial language[edit]

Some of the material on this page sounds too fluffly, cliche, and partial. For example: "Graf got into film as he found himself living in his imagination. That he loved how film opened up another world as a welcoming outlet" - If you can provide a reference where he explicitly states this, include it. If not, consider phrasing it in another way. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lady-grinning-soul (talk • contribs) 16:25, 15 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Revise film descriptions[edit]

Brace 2015: " Throughout the film, Adam has a secret that he does not know if his partner will ever accept." - specify the secret and refrain from sounding too vague "The film makes it clear that both characters want to be accepted within the society which, to do so, they must accept themselves" - fluffy language, try to describe the struggle they face in an objective way

Chance 2015: "He begins to feel very lonely within his everyday living until he meets up with someone who is going through the same emotions" - Who does he meet? Both of them share this similarity; they both start to relive their live" - What similarly? Again, be more descriptive. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lady-grinning-soul (talk • contribs) 16:56, 15 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Missing endnotes + references[edit]

Include endnotes + references for...

- entire introduction - "...in making a female to male transition. Short films such as X-WHY (2011), Brace (2015), and Chance (2015) has given the film director a way to open up about his sexual identity through explaining what it was like to go through the process of being a trans gendered individual" - "Although the film maintains an honest and humorous tone, X-WHY reflects the trials and hardships of trans people. The film selected to be shown in the 26th BFI London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival in 2012 and was shortlisted for the IRIS Prize in the same year" - "Already within 2016, Graf has been featured in G Zone magazine, Turkey and the middle East’s LGBT Magazine, and is one of the official faces of the FTM Magazine" — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lady-grinning-soul (talk • contribs) 17:00, 15 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Vague descriptions[edit]

Try to include descriptive language: "He also wrote an article for Cosmopolitan (magazine) titled, ‘17 things you should never say to a trans person,’ and after a few of his short films, he is in the process of making another one called Dawn"Italic text - process of making what? " In 2016, Graf has been featured in G Zone magazine, Turkey and the middle East’s LGBT MagazineItalic text, and is one of the official faces of the FTM Magazine." - Name of the magazines? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lady-grinning-soul (talk • contribs) 17:15, 15 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review[edit]

Hi, I am doing the peer review for our film class. I enjoyed reading through your Wikipedia page, it has some great information. I have notice some errors with sentence structure and choice of words, I will make minor changes to the errors that stand out to me. I would suggests adding more information to the career part of the article as well as into the explanation of the films you mentioned to make it more informative and stronger. Also, if there are more films your film maker has done, I suggest making a table or a list and list those. Over all, well done. Blackrose84 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Blackrose84 (talk • contribs) 17:53, 16 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Your page on Jake Graf is very well organized and easy to read. You clearly did your research and I like how you structured the different films and explained the plot and achievements of each. Also, your achievements section is written phenomenally well. I do have a few suggestions. Perhaps you could add a little more personal information, were you able to find his birthday? As well as some information on his acting. I read online that he played a big role in The Danish Girl. Some of your sentences could use an edit, like the beginning of Early Career. Perhaps you can talk about his personal connection and reason for making film? I found this quote in an interview with dapperq.com, for example: “Growing up, I never saw myself on screen, and for a young trans boy, who lived pretty much in his head, or vicariously through the male heroes that he saw on screen, that was a hugely isolating, lonely and scary thing. The first time I saw a trans man on screen was Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry, and I can scarcely imagine a more terrifying or upsetting portrayal or the trans male experience.” (http://www.dapperq.com/2015/10/interview-with-sharp-dressed-transgender-filmmaker-jake-graf/) You did a great job! Good luck with the edits. Blu3v3lv3t (talk) 15:56, 15 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Neutrality tag[edit]

Hey Mandomanny313, you added a NPOV tag to this page in this edit in January. Your reasoning for it in the edit summary seems pretty vague and I'm not sure how to approach the issue. Could you specify what "clearly biased wording and skeptical word choices" are present in this article? Best, Bridget (talk) 18:27, 24 March 2022 (UTC) [ed. 19:52, 25 March 2022][reply]

Wiki Education assignment: Introduction to Critical Methods -- Sec. 001[edit]

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 24 September 2022 and 3 December 2022. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): JohnMelodyy, Susitl, Alexisg424, Sml177, Alexavillalobos98 (article contribs).

— Assignment last updated by NightVid19 (talk) 06:22, 2 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]