Talk:Baby I/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 15:01, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

Infobox

• How are Babyface and Patrick "J.Que" Smith credited on the writing credits of the inlay notes? It should be the same way here and in the rest of the article for that matter.

 Done

Lead

• This lead is missing a summarization of the critical opinion, some background of the song as well
• "Baby I" is an R&B-influenced song with urban drums, horns, a syncopated beat, finger snaps, handclaps and strings during the bridge."→ Isn't it R&B and pop it's not influenced maybe influence by pop but the sources clearly state R&B. On a second note, you don't have it "urban" in the body of the article so find the source (f it's already there fine) and add it there as well, same goes for the drums you don't state during the bridge on the body of the article.
• " '70s disco energy" → body of the article?

@MarioSoulTruthFan:  Comment: I found this information in a review from PopCrush and Critic of Music, however, both unreliable, so I removed this. That sucks, reviews from PopCrush are so good and useful to expand "composition" sections. LikeGaga (talk) 16:32 10 July 2017 (UTC)

I strongly agree with you, but we can't do anything about it. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:09, 10 July 2017 (UTC)

• "Lyrically, the song is about not being able to fully express how much you are crushing on that special someone." → Lyrically, the song is about not being able to fully express your feelings towards someone you love.
• "debuting with 141,000 digital copies sold during its first week of availability" → mainly due to the strong digital sales, 141,000 copies, during its first week of availability
• " becoming the song top 10 single from Yours Truly" → something is missing
• "wearing top and shots." → shorts perhaps?
• Once you had the tour on the live performances you should also add it here.
• "In contrast with the song's production, the video was inspired by 1990s outfits" → really? This goes totally against what the composition section mentioned and critics for a matter of fact.
• You can also add the release date of radio here + country of digital and radio release

 Done

Background and release

• The paragraphs of the sections should be switched.
• The quote box has to turn in normal text with more of your own words.
• "Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds (known as "Babyface")" → seems redundant just say "Kenneth Edmonds, commonly know as Babyface."
• Remove the apostrophes for Babyface when it is the only name.
• by the first two → by the former two
• "she immediately agreed recorded the song." → she immediately agreed to record the song.
• "Baby I" was released for digital download on July 22, 2013." → where? + Label
• ""I didn't pick 'Baby I' as the second single, Mac Miller picked 'Baby I' as the second single and that's honestly the only reason why it was the second single. I was skeptical about it but I loved the song just because it feels a lot like Dreamgirls to me." She added." → this is just repletion of what you said, no need for all this. Use "...be the second single from her album. Despite her disbelief in releasing it as the second single, she enjoys the recording, since it is reminiscent of "Dreamgirls".
• She was revealing snippets of the song days before its release → She revealed snippets of the song days before its release + I can't find this in the source.
• "The song received another version in 2014, which was released as a bonus track for the Japanese version of Grande's sophomore album My Everything, featuring Japanese musician Taro Hakase. The song features new arrangements in the background instrumental, with Hakaro playing violin during the whole song." → "The song was released as a bonus track for the Japanese version of Grande's sophomore album My Everything, featuring Japanese musician Taro Hakase. The song features new arrangements in the background instrumental, with Hakaro playing violin during the whole song." + inlay notes of the Japanese version of"My everything" to prove that Hakaro played such instrument and move reference number seven, the last one on this section after "during the whole song".
• "This version was also featured as the 2nd credits theme for the 2014–2015 anime series GO-GO Tamagotchi!, making it the only song in that series not to be sung in Japanese" → "This version was the second credits theme for the 2014–2015 anime series GO-GO Tamagotchi!, making it the only song in that series not to be sung in Japanese" + missing source

 Done

Composition

• "A 19-second sample of "Baby I" which illustrates the chorus of the song where Grande sings featuring an uptempo drumbeat, breathy vocals harmonizing around her voice and strings as support." → A 19-second sample of the chorus of the song, where Grande sings over an uptempo drumbeat, with breathy vocals harmonizing her voice and strings supporting. Is this correct?
• I would remove fuse.
• "that runs for a duration of three minutes and 17 seconds" → that runs for three minutes and 17 seconds + source
• "sheet published by Sony Music Publishing on Musicnotes.com," → sheet published by Sony Music Publishing
• "writer from Rap-Up described the track as a "summertime record" which features Grande's "big vocals" over a "breezy beat" → merged this with "to a syncopated, breezy, summery, R&B-tinged beat" from the MTV quote. two crtiics noticing similarities is worth to show
• demonstrated in "Baby I → demonstrated on the track
• "finger snaps" and " horns such as trumpet, saxophone and trombone" → not on citations given

 Comment: The editor from "Pitchfork" made reference to "horn riffs" while these instruments are also cited in the liner notes from Yours Truly, then, the usage of horns is true as well as finger snaps, strings and handclaps. LikeGaga (talk) 12:48 11 July 2017 (UTC)

You are recurring on a fallacy here, I had the same problem with another editor. You can't take conclusions besides what it says in the source "horn riffs" can be a wide variety of horn instruments like those already mentioned or only two of those or some others. Now, if it is in the inlay notes, then it's fine I have added those notes to support the sentence,MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 13:03, 11 July 2017 (UTC)

• special love for someone and how she can't formulate her strong feelings into words → if it's q quote use apostrophes
• Regarding the lyrics, Grande had commented → Regarding this matter, Grande commented
• "Personally when it comes to me expressing myself with other people, especially if it's towards the beginning of a crush or the beginning of a relationship, I'm so awkward and so flustered in that way, I'm always so nervous to express myself that I feel like it's a very me song in that way." → not on the citation given.

 Done

Critical response

• Critical response → Critical reception
• You need ""Baby I" received generally positive reviews from most music critics." on the beginning of this section + link music critics to music journalism.
• This is important you are always using the word "added" throughout this section, you need synonyms replace some with "continued, furthered," and something like "(S)He also said/told/thought"!!!
• "praised the production of "Baby I" as a "real throwback"" → praised the production of "Baby I" dubbing it as a throwback
• "Her range isn't anywhere near Carey's was at her peak (the runs at the end of 'Baby I' sound like they push her to the limit), but her ability to shift between cooing and belting is pretty spot-on" → use your own words more often
• ", "It's a hodgepodge of familiar clichés, from its Britney-esque "yeah yeah yeahs" to the punchy horn riffs that somehow melt into a staggered hip-hop verse. It's a cross-generational mess of influences, and all the better for it; Grande's boundless energy means she can power through like no one else, tying hooks into knots with her voice as if it were nothing" → same as previous
• Baby I" as well as "The Way" "are the only sections I genuinely enjoyed and revisited countless times (enough to keep them on repeat on my music player for a few weeks);" → same as previous
• My thoughts on Fuse on the previous section.
• "And addedthat "Baby I exploits nearly every beat in existence, resulting in messiness."" → He also said that "Baby I exploits nearly every beat in existence, resulting in messiness."
• "Writing for the MTV blog" → Writing for MTV

 Done

Commercial performance

• This section is a bit messy here.
• "debuting at number 21 on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart, making it her second Top 40 hit." → which one was the first? Add here as well
• "With the anticipated release of the music video, "Baby I" re-entered the Billboard Hot 100 charts at number 94" → So how can you prove this? Was it when it was released? Do you have the release date? Some source surrounding hype? Anything actually.
• "UK R&B Chart at number 26 during the album release" → why isn't on the charts section? Also, add a source with the release date of the album.
• Australia, Canada, Netherlands and the year end of Japan should also be mentioned here.

 Done

Music video

• Perhaps divide this into a Background and concept, Synopsis and reception section would be better.

 Comment: You really think necessary? The music video for "Baby I" is so simple, there is no a story in the video; I just added comments by critics and I inserted an image to show the 1990s outfits which is the key concept of the video. It isn't good enough? LikeGaga (talk) 16:12 10 July 2017 (UTC)

Maybe not, but address the rest of the issues, sources are missing to support some of the information. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:10, 10 July 2017 (UTC)

• "You should keep the quote, but remove it's quote marks just normal text.
• "A 'teaser video' was posted on Grande's personal YouTube channel September 5, 2013" → same as previous
• "music video after "One Last Time"." → same as previous

Add a source with the date when "One Last Time" reached that mark. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:19, 11 July 2017 (UTC)

• "According to Christina Garibaldi from MTV, the video "takes a page straight out of the '90s, from the overalls to the graphic T's and mismatched prints. All they missed were the snap bracelets!" She added, "Grande and her crew shutting down the block as she rocks a pair of short shorts and a midriff-baring top, reminiscent of Mariah Carey's ensemble in the 1995 "Fantasy" video." " → same as previous
• "She complemented!" → remove exclamation poing and should be ", she complemented."
• "He said." → remove this

 Done

Live performances

• She also performed it during her tours, add some critics reviews from the tour saying that and classifying that performance.
• Summer Sonic 2015, Ariana Grande - The Way & Baby I acoustic with Dan Kanter, she also performed it in other Japanese show do the same a previous mentioned.
• The Youtube source is not even her official channel, find another.

Setlist.fm is not a reliable source at all. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 13:22, 10 July 2017 (UTC)

I've found an article from Billboard about the Summer Sonic Festival and a video published on official website of Worldwide Day of Play as well.

Seems better now? LikeGaga (talk) 18:08, 10 July 2017 (UTC)

It needs t say that she performed "Baby, I". If there is a video of her official channel or the festival channel that is also acceptable, not as good though. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:00, 10 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Oh this is so complicated, is so hard find some sources that clearly talk about or cite the performance of "Baby I" in the Festival, I've found this source in Japanese. Is this acceptable? LikeGaga (talk) 23:20 10 July 2017 (UTC)

It's essentially a copy of the Billboard source. Use the video published on official website of Worldwide Day of Play and use the Billboard source along with this 1, better than nothing. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 12:47, 11 July 2017 (UTC)

 Done

Credits and personnel

• Fine.

Charts

Weekly charts

• Add this chart as well. [1]. This is how you do it [2] → Dutch Tipparade
• You don't need Japan Hot 100 to be taken from BB.biz you can use the normal citation. See link above that shows you how to do it.

 Done

Year-end charts

• Fine

Certifications

• Not on given source.

 Done

Radio and release history

• Dead links, I need to verify these sources.
• Where was the song released?

So, the source as also the song released on mainstream radio, but the big issue is that the date is not verifiable the time of that link the song is already on airplay. Can't you find another archive source? Like archive.is or webcitation, or any other? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:50, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I didn’t understand exadtly what you meant, but I found another archived source. Is that right? LikeGaga (talk) 21:57 9 July 2017 (UTC)

Yes, if you could find another for the rhythmic crossover it would be great. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:26, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

References

• Links 3,4, 36, 41, 46 are dead, please find their archive sources.
• Only link stuff once the first time it appears. Example: MTV, Billboard. Link what you have not: Complex, Rap-Up and so on
• If you are going to use publisher use in every link, so I would advise to remove it.

 Done

External links

• Fine. However, I would add the video here instead of the infobox as it is disrupting a bit the next section, it's just a stylistic thing. Not mandatory.

 Done

Overall Ga review

• You have a huge violation of copyright of the website "Complex" to trim down, even Pitchfork isn't looking that nice; a good way is to use your own words with some parts of the quotes that you can't explain for yourself.
• You need to variate the vocabulary, don't be always saying song, try to use: single, track, recording...
• @LikeGaga: So this is not looking great. However, I feel if I failed you this GA you would not learn a single thing. Therefore, you haven seven days to address all these issues. Once you have done it I will post another round of comments or amend things by myself. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:52, 6 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I tried, can you check it now please? LikeGaga (talk) 23:33 8 July 2017 (UTC)

@LikeGaga: I will try tomorrow. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 20:39, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I have just added the sources in the section of music video and live performances. "Won't you come over and check up on it?" LikeGaga (talk) 16:05 11 July 2017 (UTC)

@LikeGaga: It's fine the live performances, I still have to check the rest. Why did you add a more detailed description on the song's sample? and why did you added a photo of a live performance? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:05, 11 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Oh! I thought the picture would be useful and relevant to the article, I really see a real benefit of including it. I also decided put a "extra" description on the sound sample due the lacking of sources to support the usage of strings (although we know that this is true). It wasn't good? LikeGaga (talk) 17:57 11 July 2017 (UTC)

You did well, just answer the issues on the lead (you forgot a couple) and I will give you the second row of comments. Let me know when you are ready. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 18:54, 11 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Yeah man! I'm ready; Provide the rest of issues you found so I can fix them. LikeGaga (talk) 19:10 11 July 2017 (UTC)

2d round comments

Lead

• "Baby I" is an R&B-influenced song → "Baby I" is an R&B and pop song
• The song was serviced to contemporary hit radio in the United States on August 8, 2013 → add the download date as it is the first date, you can even switch the radio for the download one or keep both if you do the latter, please do it chronologically.
• 37 on Netherlands → first is 39 and secondly, that's the tipparade, it's like the bubbling chart in the US. I would remove this one since the impact is very small.

 Done

Background and release

• "Baby I" was released for digital download on July 22, 2013, by Republic Records and was sent to contemporary hit radios on August 6, 2013, by the same label → where??

 Done

Composition

• "Personally when it comes to me expressing myself with other people, especially if it's towards the beginning of a crush or the beginning of a relationship, I'm so awkward and so flustered in that way, I'm always so nervous to express myself that I feel like it's a very me song in that way" → use your own words more often

 Done

Critical reception

• And noted a → Ryce noted a

 Done

Commercial performance

• If you mentioned the rhythmic chart on the lead you should do as well here or remove it from the lead, up to you.
• Same goes for the Dutch Tipparade.
• One paragraph.

 Done

Musiv Video

• Archive twitter source.
• "takes a page straight out of the '90s, from the overalls to the graphic T's and mismatched prints. All they missed were the snap bracelets!" She added, Grande and her crew shutting down the block as she rocks a pair of short shorts and a midriff-baring top, reminiscent of Mariah Carey's ensemble in the 1995 Fantasy video" → use you own words more often.
• "Grande, who promised the clip would make her fans smile, tosses her signature locks and sings sweetly to the camera as she takes her party from the streets to the rooftop to the bus. Eventually, Grande trades in the short shorts for overalls and the sky-high heels for sneakers, as she shows off her adorable running man moves flanked by her back-up dancers. Eventually Grande makes her way back to the house party, which is complete with inflatable microphones and boom boxes" → same as previous

 Done

Live performances

• Over usage of the word "performance" and such variants. Replace some of them by "sing", "conducted", for instance.
• One paragraph section is not big enough for two
• Archieve the twitter source.

 Done

Charts and certifications

• Uk R&B is missing accessdate.

 Done

Radio and release history

• Renamde the section as "Release history"
• You use to have a source with the rhythmic crossover date, can you find it and add it? It was dead but if you can find a working one it would be great.
• If you do find it, add the date on the release section as well.

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Are you talking bout this? LikeGaga (talk) 17:51, 12 July 2017 (UTC)

@LikeGaga: Yes but with a real date. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:56, 12 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I've been searching, but I haven't found anything :(. There's no any date of release in Rhythmic station on the archives, I searched here as well, but the range of this site is limited. DGMW! LikeGaga (talk) 18:48, 12 July 2017 (UTC)

It's fine. Just address the other issues, ping me when you are done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:31, 12 July 2017 (UTC)

Second overall Ga review

• I only mentioned the sections that have something wrong with them. The others are fine, when you conclude this I will give it a second read and if any more changes are needed I will do them by myself. Then it is GA time. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:43, 11 July 2017 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: All done, please, take a look now. LikeGaga (talk) 23:47 12 July 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.