Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Battle of Ebelsberg

Battle of Ebelsberg

I have written many Class B articles, but this is the first time that I've nominated one of my articles for peer review. I believe that I have thoroughly covered the subject. Djmaschek (talk) 03:24, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

Hchc2009

The "background" section probably needs to explain a little bit more about the context to the battle. The sorts of things the opening sentences could explain would be what the wider conflict was etc. A lot of this material is in the lead, but isn't in the main article itself. It might also be worth describing the terrain/geography a bit - if the reader didn't know anything about southern Germany in spring-time, what sort of backdrop should they be imagining? Mountainous? River valleys? etc.

In the "result" section, you describe what happened next, but not the significance of it to the campaign. e.g. Did it make a big difference to the war? etc. A little bit more "so-what" analysis here would round the article off really nicely.

Hope that's useful. Hchc2009 (talk) 08:52, 28 November 2010 (UTC)

I added the "On 10 April..." paragraph immediately after the Background header to start at the beginning of the campaign. I also added the "Napoleon was aware..." paragraph in Results for significance, and 3 sentences to Commentary which also address significance. As far as geography, there is an existing sentence in Fight for Ebelsberg, "Yet, Ebelsberg was an excellent..." which briefy describes geography to which I've added extra geographic clues ("snow-melt swollen river", "hill-top castle", "up the street to the left"). Could you or someone else have a re-look? Thanks. Djmaschek (talk) 02:45, 29 November 2010 (UTC)

The background para works nicely - I reckon it's a much smoother intro to the piece. The extra clues also worked better for me. Best of luck with the transition to Good Article review (where I'm hoping it will be progressing in due course...) Hchc2009 (talk) 20:28, 29 November 2010 (UTC)