Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Joan Ganz Cooney

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Joan Ganz Cooney[edit]

How does this bio look, so far? I've not got into the main bulk of Joan's career, and I've only been working from one interview with her (albeit about four hours long), but it's a pretty good start, I hope. I'd like advice on what to do with references, as it is indeed so mono-sourced. -- Zanimum 18:45, 9 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Yannismarou[edit]

I do not think I can help you much about the references. But I'm sure that in Internet you'll find material and other links to books, interviews etc. Reading the article, it is clear to me that more sources are necessary. This will also improve the prose and the coherence of the article. Some minor remarks, mainly on style:

  • You end the article in 1968. You say you've not got into the main bulk of Joan's career, so I expect more information to be added and some wording about her whereabouts nowadays. What is she doing? How did she end her career? What is going on with her business? Is she an active businesswoman?
  • I do not like the Trivia sections in general. But this is maybe a personal peculiarity. I just think that trivia should be incorporated within the other sections. As it is now this section seems to me like full of scattered information.
  • Many users do not like one-sentence paragraphs. If you ever go for GA or FAC you should take care of that. I am one of those who believe that it is nice for the style as well for the better interconnection of the material to merge one-sentence paragraphs.
  • Can't you find at least a photo? Rich photo material with good captions is highly recommended. You'll see that there are also some nice infoboxes for bios and famous persons. You could use one of this and add a photo.
  • You have to expand the lead section (WP:LEAD), especially if you enlarge the article.
  • As it is now, the "Childhood" section seems gigantic to me. Keep a good balance between the sections. If you add, of course, more sections and the article becomes bigger, then this section might be ok as it is now.
  • I donot like too many red links within an article (for instance One of these things). You can create yourself some of these articles as stubs.

That's for a start. I hope that I was helpful and that we'll soon have a more consummated image of the article with the information you want to add.--Yannismarou 11:11, 20 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

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