Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Tokyo Mew Mew characters/archive1
List of Tokyo Mew Mew characters[edit]
- A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for February 2009.
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it has been undergone a dramatic overhaul since March 18, 2008[1]. The previous unnotable individual character articles were merged into the list, by consensus, one by one, all of the sections have been completely rewritten, completely sourcing has been added throughout, the lead was redone, and creation/conception and reception info has been added. Excessive non-free images were removed and two carefully selected group images put in their place. The current list has been modeled after the current FL List of Naruto characters. Now, submitting this list for peer review to see what other fixes may be needed before nominating it for Featured List status?
Thanks, -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 01:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
- Besides a copy-edit for the whole article, the lead needs to summarize the reception/conception information, and there is still a ton of plot information in the character sections. Take the Mint Aizawa section:
At their first meeting, Mint lends Ichigo a handkerchief while making snide comments about Ichigo's circumstances, causing Ichigo to consider her a rude, sarcastic person. Later, Ichigo goes to Mint's home to see if she is one a Mew Mew. While there, a chimera anima takes over Mint's dog. During the subsequent battle, it is confirmed that Mint is a Mew Mew.
- That entire section is unnecessary and can be cut without any loss of understanding of the character. Put it this way: unless the plot detail is completely necessary to provide context for explaining an aspect of the character, then it moves into excessive territory. Take a closer look at List of Naruto characters. The only real plot information is when it's necessary to provide context. Aside from this, you do drift into using some colloquial words, the most egregious of which is "crush", which could probably be replaced by something like "romantic interest". — sephiroth bcr (converse) 10:13, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
- Okay...guess I'll try again. *sigh* This is much harder than an episode/chapter list. As a side note, "crush" was left in because it was in the FL chapter list too. Can change though, if needed. Finding a CE...that's another whole issue :P Does the lead need less plot summary or is it fine other than needing a summary of conception/reception? -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 03:09, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
- Okay...how is that for the plot stuff? -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 03:43, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
- Okay...guess I'll try again. *sigh* This is much harder than an episode/chapter list. As a side note, "crush" was left in because it was in the FL chapter list too. Can change though, if needed. Finding a CE...that's another whole issue :P Does the lead need less plot summary or is it fine other than needing a summary of conception/reception? -- Collectonian (talk · contribs) 03:09, 2 March 2009 (UTC)