Wikipedia:Peer review/Kit Mueller/archive1

Kit Mueller

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because this has a lot of new content in need of editorial refinement.

Thanks, TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 21:06, 6 November 2011 (UTC)

Comments by Bradley0110

• I would guess that there Mueller's birthdate is not recorded in any reliable sources. Is there anything out there that can help readers get a grounding for his age?
  • Since he never played pro and he played before the internet era, I don't know how to find his birthdate, but most readers will have an idea how old he is by the years he was in college.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:07, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
• The lead is nicely written and provides a good balance of lay and technical terms, and technical terms are nicely linked for further reading
• In the third paragraph of the lead, "tenure" appears twice in as many sentences. Can this be varied?
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:09, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
• Paras 1 and 2 of "High School" are like a wall of prose-ified stats. Is there any further information that can be included in this section to space out the stats?
  • I've added as much context as is reasonable for this subject. I.E., for this subject, this much pre-high school content is pretty exemplary. Not too many people at this level of notability have this much detail about their high school career.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 00:14, 6 December 2011 (UTC)

Bradley0110 (talk) 22:17, 5 December 2011 (UTC)

• I've no further comments on the article; the College and post grad sections both run smoothly, and the references have clear and consistent formatting. Bradley0110 (talk) 21:44, 8 December 2011 (UTC)