Wikipedia:Peer review/International Spiritual Movement Anjuman Serfaroshan-e-Islam/archive1

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International Spiritual Movement Anjuman Serfaroshan-e-Islam[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because…

  1. I have noticed a number of links and verifiable facts
  2. Notability and Neutrality
  3. Well-written
  4. A lot of hard-work

Thanks, Falconkhe (talk) 08:26, 3 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: I recently peer reviewed Riaz Ahmed Gohar Shahi, so I know a little more about this topic than I would have otherwise. Here are some suggestions for improvement:

  • The article is currently tagged for notability concerns and needs to do a better job of demonstraating why this should be included in the encyclopedia.
  • The lead needs to be expanded per WP:LEAD and should be a summary of the article. Nothing should be only in the lead.
  • There are a number of items in the article that seem questionable for inclusion: the list of first five members, the two lists of web sites (see WP:NOT - Wikipedia is not a directory of web links).
  • In general, lists shiuld be converted to prose.
  • This article needs a copyedit as it has many typographical errors and grammar issues. I think "Voice President" should be "Vice President", for example, or "cast" should be caste.
  • The article is seriously over-linked. Riaz Ahmed Gohar Shahi is linked six times just in the Lead, plus it is listed in the See also section (generally for links to topics not otherwise in the article)
  • It needs many more references - for example, the founding members names and the officers names are not referenced (there are no refs in the whole Organizational Structure section.
  • The article needs to be very careful to follow WP:NPOV - it seems to me to be more pro ASI than anti, though it does present criticisms.
  • Internet references need to have title, publisher, author (if known), and date accessed (see WP:CITE).
  • Many of the sources cited do not seem to meet WP:RS - perhaps WikiProject Islam could help here? These need to be third-party sources, not the movement's own website.

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 19:47, March 15, 2008

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