Wikipedia:Peer review/FC Barcelona/archive3

FC Barcelona[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.

Fresh from a failed FAC due to need of a copyedit. A good copyedit is the only thing missing, so if a kind soul could fix the horrible grammar, please have at it. Cheers, Sandman888 (talk) ^{Latest PR} 11:46, 18 August 2010 (UTC) Review by ResMar[reply]

Lead

The team was founded in 1899 by a group of Swiss, English and Spanish men led by Joan Gamper. "Men" really sticks out. I suggest futbol players.
The club has become a Catalan institution, hence the motto "Més que un club" (More than a club). Institution? In what way?

That's taken directly from the book. I guess he means a "focal point for Catalan culture and nationalism" as another author refers to it, if that makes it clearer. Any suggestions?

How about "Symbol of Catalan culture"? ResMar 12:12, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Second paragraph: Lots of "won."
In 2009, Barcelona became the first club in Spain to win the treble of La Liga, Copa del Rey and Champions League. FC Barcelona also became the first football team ever to win six out of six competitions in a single year thus completing the sextuple,... You link "the treble", but not "the sextuple."

Birth of FC Barcelona

As a result Foot-Ball Club Barcelona was born. Akward. I'm tempted to change it to "Thus Foot-Ball Club Barcelona was born."
FC Barcelona quickly emerged as one of the leading clubs in Spain, competing in the Campeonato de Cataluña and the Copa del Rey. In 1902, the club won its first trophy,... How was it one of the leading clubs if it only just won its first trophy?
In 1902, the club won its first trophy, the Copa Macaya, and also played in the first Copa del Rey final, losing 2–1 to Bizcaya. The first, as in the very first game, or their first appearence there? Clarify.
In 1908, Joan Gamper became club president, taking over the presidency in order to save the club from folding. I thought they were successful.
From 1910 to 1914 Barcelona participated in the Pyrenees Cup, which consisted of the best teams of Languedoc, Midi and Aquitaine (Southern France), the Basque Country and Catalonia, which was considered the finest competition open for participation in that time. Again, akward, specifically whether you are seperating seperate competitors with the apostraphe, or they are competing togethor (ae. Midi and Aquitaine; togethor or against each other?).

Rivera, Republic and Civil War (1923–1957)

He 'reminded' them that they were only playing due to the 'generosity of the regime'. Real Madrid dominated the match, thrashing Barça 11–1. I feel Barça is not appropriate in this context.

Stabilization years

In 1978 Josep Lluís Núñez became the first elected president of FC Barcelona, and since then the members of Barcelona have elected the club president. What was the process for selection beforehand?

No idea, it is not written anywhere, save for some allusions to the club being owned by fewer, wealthier members. Again, it is not explicit what happened before. Sandman888 (talk) ^{Latest PR} 07:50, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tisk, reference issues. So be it. ResMar 12:12, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

His presidency was to last for 22 years and it deeply affected the image of Barcelona, as Núñez held to a strict policy regarding wages and discipline, letting players such as Maradona, Romario and Ronaldo go rather than meeting their demands. Wikilinks please.
They beat Sampdoria in both the 1989 UEFA Cup Winners' Cup final and the 1992 European Cup final at Wembley with a free kick goal from Dutch international Ronald Koeman.

I'm not sure what you mean here but have removed "with a free kick goal from Dutch international Ronald Koeman.

Support

However, during the Spanish Civil War itself, members of both clubs like Josep Sunyol and Rafael Sánchez Guerra suffered at the hands of Franco supporters. No ref.
The 1960s saw the rivalry reach the European stage when they met twice at the knock-out stages of the European Cup. Same.
The crest consist of the St George Cross in the upper-left corner, the Catalan flag beside it with the colours of Barcelona in the bottom. Same!

Nt: I did a thourough copyedit, but it was lost to loss of session data. Bummer...Res Mar 00:50, 22 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

All taken care of unless noted. Shame with the session loss, but your help is truly appreciated!

Comments from Elcobbola (talk · contribs)

File:Franco0001.PNG - No publication date at the source; how can we confirm it was first published (not the same as creation) more than 20 years ago? Also, image needs to be PD in the US; what is its US status?
- Added publication, which was 1969. Link to PD claim.
File:Barcelona bombing.jpg - Incorrect license. Not a "simple photograph" as contemplated by Italian law.
- Could you explain what constitutes a simple photograph versus one of art?
File:Johan Cruijff golfer cropped.jpg - Per title and summary, this is a crop. Where is the original image from which it was cropped?
- added original
File:Culers.jpg - Fails NFCC#1. "The origin of the nickname culé for a Barcelona supporter, is derived from the Catalan cul (English: arse), as the spectators at the first stadium, Camp de la Indústria, sat with their culs over the stand" is free prose and conveys the understanding perfectly well. Now moot, but there is also no detailed and specific rationale/purpose (NFCC#10C).
File:FCB second crest.jpg - No license (!!!); nonsense (nonapplicable) FoP sentence. Эlcobbola _talk 15:13, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Added FUR, cannot find publication. Have source that says a number of shirts were given away to fans, how's that? Sandman888 (talk) ^{Latest PR} 16:58, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]