Wikipedia:Peer review/Elsa Murano/archive1

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I would appreciate a copy-edit and feedback on how the article can be expanded.

Thanks, BlueAg09 (Talk) 17:53, 5 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Even for GA I'd expand the lead.
Add 1959 births and living people to the categories you've got.
"due to her limited budget, enrolled at Miami Dade College, a nearby junior college." why is that logical? What's wrong with that college that means limited budget would send you there?
"master's" - link it.
"She would serve " She served...
Ref 9 needs to be fixed.

That's about it for now. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed all but the lead, which I'll get to later. Thanks for the feedback!! BlueAg09 (Talk) 21:26, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Ruhrfisch question - why did her name change? Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:56, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
- She got married before going to Virginia Tech I believe. Would it be appropriate to add this information in the early life section, or should it be added to a new section about her personal life? BlueAg09 (Talk) 21:26, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  - Thanks, I would put it wherever you talk about her going to Virginia Tech (chronologically). It is often useful to have a model article, a FA or GA to look at for ideas on structure, etc. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 20:15, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]