Wikipedia:Peer review/EarthBound/archive1

EarthBound

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I have rewritten 90% of it and want to take it to FA. I believe the sections that need probing are:

• The Gameplay section, need to make sure everything is covered and easily understandable.
• The Characters section, need to make sure it flows and is informative, not a hinderance.
• The Story section, does it flow alright? Is it truthful? I might have gotten some of the plot mixed up.

Anyway, thanks for the help : ) -- Noj r (talk) 19:00, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comment - To be honest, it looks very strong in its current incarnation. You might want to switch out the reviews template with the standard video game reviews template, and also write much more specific fair use rationales. For example. instead of "This illustrates the subject", what does it illustrate? What is it being used for? Other than that, consider yourself pretty much set. Give it a copyedit, and give it a try! Judgesurreal777 (talk) 15:11, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

• I am not an expert on games articles, but this needs a copyedit. For example, in the lead Buzz Buzz proceeds to tell Ness that an evil alien, named Giygas, has overtaken the world in the future and that Ness must undertake a journey to prevent this event. but "overtaken" does not mean the same thing as "taken over". Or this Throughout the game, four characters come to compose the party in the game; Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo. Or this Development on EarthBound took place as a joint effort between Ape, Inc. and HAL Laboratory, Inc. and was designed by Shigesato Itoi. I think this means the game was designed by Itoi, but the subject of the sentence is "Development" so it could be read that the development was designed by Itoi. There are other places that need some polish throughout the article. Since one of the FA criteria is writing approaching brilliant prose, this is something to fix. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 16:56, 6 April 2008 (UTC)