Wikipedia:Peer review/Better Than Today/archive1

Better Than Today

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am planning to make this article a GA or further. besides the lead, "Music video", and "Live performances" sections (which are relatively unfinished), everything is ready to be reviewed. Go for blood.

Thanks, I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 04:38, 23 March 2011 (UTC)

Comments by Nehrams2020

• "They also aplauded the dance-oriented lyrics." "applauded" Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "It reflected the tour performances." Expand on this a bit more, it seems vague to me.
  • I thought I elaborated in the "Music video" section. Do I need to say more in the lead? I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 20:03, 25 March 2011 (UTC) Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "It was not as successful as Minogue's preceding singles." Is that referring to all of her singles or just the ones on "Aphrodite"?
  • Her singles. Period. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 20:03, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

    Releases does read clearer. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 23:16, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

• The article goes back and forth between using the serial comma. Pick one method and stick to it to remain consistent. Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "According to the sheet music published at Musicnotes.com by Hal Leonard Corporation" Probably can just go with "published by Hal..." Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "Hannah Kim of the Korea JoongAng Daily" Newspapers should be italicized. Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "He gave the single 4 stars." Out of how many possible stars? Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• ""It's confusing. I felt a little let down with my releases from Aphrodite..." Although the album is in a quote it should still be italicized. A citation should also be added directly after the quote.
  • The citation is after the last sentence because that paragraph is all from the same source. Do it anyway? I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 20:03, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

    Yes, even if the citation covers the whole paragraph, the quote at least should be directly sourced. This is also helpful if another editor down the line adds a sentence in between and it becomes unclear which source the quote is from. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 23:16, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

• "Minogue premiered the video for "Better Than Today" on 19 November 2010." Premiered where? Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "...with help from her tour staff, including William Baker." Who is Baker, this is the first time he's mentioned? Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "As the first verse starts, she is now surrounded by..." Remove the "now", in the context of the encyclopedia article, it does not flow well. Done. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 21:57, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• "Pink is the New Blog" I don't believe blogs should be italicized, check the MOS.
  • I remember looking up the issue a long time ago in the MoS talk pages. Consensus has not been reached, but most said in cases of "Name of Blog.com", they should not. In cases of "Name of Blog", they should. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 20:03, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
• For the citation in the charts table for the peak position, consider formatting it so the citation doesn't drop below the 55. It currently looks like one of the rankings. You may have to extend the table size.
  • That is temporary. The default source has not updated yet. Waiting it out. I Help, When I Can. ^[12] 20:03, 25 March 2011 (UTC)

    The new formatting looks better. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 23:16, 30 March 2011 (UTC)

That's all I spotted for now. Interesting read and well-sourced. It's good to see many of the citations have already been archived to prevent future linkrot. If you have questions on any of these, let me know.