Wikipedia:Peer review/2012 phenomenon/archive3

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2012 phenomenon[edit]

Previous peer review
Toolbox
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
If you'd asked me a year ago I wouldn't have considered this article for FA consideration, but I'm starting to ponder whether it is now ready. Please let me know if it is.

Thanks, Serendipodous 08:57, 22 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This is interesting, seems comprehensive, and is generally very well-done. I think, with a few fixes, it would have a chance at FA. My suggestions are mostly fairly trifling and shouldn't be difficult to address. When the world doesn't end in 2012, the article will need updating. I'm sure you've thought of this and perhaps even look forward to it with relish.

  • The dab tool at the top of this page finds four dabs.

Lead

  • Consider spelling out NASA as well as abbreviating on first use?
  • I doubt that you need to link "scientist".

Mesoamerican Long Count calendar

  • Maybe "body" instead of "corpus" because the former is more familiar to readers.
  • "Unlike the 52-year calendar round still used today among the Maya," - Tighten by deleting "today"?
  • in units of 20, so 20 days made" - Maybe a semicolon instead of ", so"? The "so" makes the text read a bit like a lecture rather than a statement of fact. Ditto for "So, for example, the Mayan date...". I think "The Mayan date... " would do nicely.
  • "have the count shifting to a higher order" - Does the higher order have a name? I assume its another "tun" with a preface.

The Long Count and apocalypse

  • To avoid repeating "Long Count", which is in the head, maybe just "Apocalypse"?
  • "In the Maya Long Count, the previous world ended after 13 b'ak'tuns." - Does "previous world" mean the third world?
  • "This means that it too will" - I think that "it" means the "fourth world". If so, maybe saying "fourth world" rather than "it" would be more clear.
  • "added that "there appears to be a strong likelihood that the oral calendar, like the year calendar, was motivated by a long-range astronomical prediction, one that made a correct solsticial forecast 2,367 years into the future in 355 B.C." (sic)[17]" - three problems: (1) I'm not sure what "oral calendar refers to"; am I just not seeing the explanation? (2) Should "correct solsticial forecast" be explained? What forecast? (3) It's not clear what the (sic) refers to.

Objections

  • "Coe's apocalyptic connotations" - Is "connotations" the right word? Would "interpretation" be better?
  • "In their seminal work of 1990" - Maybe delete "seminal" since that might be a judgment about the work rather than a neutral claim.
  • "Stela 1 at Coba," - Should Stela be linked to Stele for readers who don't know the term?
  • "this date is 3 quintillion times" - I added a few no-break codes to items similar to this one, which needs an nbsp to hold the digits and units together on line-break. WP:NBSP has details. The others like this one should be fixed too. "Monument 6", "Stela 1", "b'ak'tun 13", and 20th century are other examples.
  • "projects into the future to the 80th Calendar Round" - The term "calendar round" was lower-cased and linked in the Mesoamerica Long Count calendar section. Should it be lower-cased here too? Otherwise it appears to be a new term not yet explained.
  • "of the famous Palenque ruler" - Delete "famous"?
  • "adding to it the Distance Number" - Maybe I am missing something, but has "Distance Number" been explained?

New Age beliefs

  • "SETI" - Spell out as well as abbreviate on first use?

Timewave zero and the I Ching

  • I Ching should be in italics in the subhead and in the text.
  • The "page needed" tag is correct. Direct quotations need an in-line citation directly after the end punctuation of the quoted material.
  • "peppered this specific date throughout the second, 1993 edition of The Invisible Landscape" - A bit awkward. Suggestion: "peppered this specific date throughout the second edition of The Invisible Landscape, published in 1993.

Doomsday theories

  • "However, Jenkins has berated the fact that a science fiction writer" - I don't think you can berate a fact. "Lament" perhaps?
  • "Common themes for the end of the world in 2012 include the following:" - This line seems a little out of place. I see what the intent is, but maybe there's a better way. Maybe the first paragraph could have its own subhead, for example.

Other alignments

  • "Sgr A*" - If you abbreviate here, you should give the abbreviation as well as the full spelling on first use, above.

Citations

  • The date formatting should be consistent. Citation 14 uses two different formats, and there might be others. Citation 96 is another odd one.
  • Citation 46 needs a punctuation fix.

References

  • The ampersands should be changed to "and" unless part of a formal name such as a corporation name.

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page.

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Peer_review/2012_phenomenon/archive3&oldid=1047325944"