User talk:Kikichugirl/Archive 7

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Re James McInerney article

Hi Kikichugirl

Thanks for your comments regarding the non-acceptance of the article James McInerney (Poet) - I must confess to being confused here. I originally submitted earlier last year, was declined for the same reasons you gave, then a week or so ago was advised the article would be deleted if there were no further edits. I then got this message from Thaddeus B: "I have delayed deletion for now as the subject appears to meet our inclusion criteria. Would you consider returning to the article and giving it another shot by adding some additional content? Feel free to contact me directly with any questions you may have." I responded, then added some extra material and two additional sources, and re-submitted, only to find I am back at square one! Can you advise? Many thanks, Chris, (Popstopher) Popstopher (talk) 08:58, 29 March 2015 (UTC)

Hi, Popstopher, let's see if User:ThaddeusB wants to comment on this. I believe that ThaddeusB meant that it will eventually likely be approved, which is reason behind the delaying of deletion. That is not the same as being immediately meeting the criteria enough to be accepted. He might be notable, but your current references are maybe just barely showing it. The golden rule is that there is "significant" coverage in "multiple" reliable sources. A couple more news reviews or something of the sort would demonstrate clear notability - a source that isn't IMDB or Goodreads, for example. Also, if he's notable, hopefully there's more than just one paragraph to be known about him. I'm not saying he's not notable, I'm just saying that right now it's hard to tell either way, and I don't want to accept it and then have someone decide "Maybe it's not notable after all" and you'll have to watch a potentially long and drawn out deletion process. Unfortunately, I am not really a writer on this site, so I cannot help you (if I helped every person I reviewed, it would take me a long time to get to all the drafts), plus if you want something to be done, the best thing after all is to WP:FIXIT yourself :) Keep up the good work and I'm sure your article will be accepted soon. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. — kikichugirl oh hello! 09:22, 29 March 2015 (UTC)
kikichugirl is basically correct - if I thought the article was acceptable as is, I would have simply accepted (I have indeed found declined drafts that I was willing to accept without any changes). I left some advice for you on how to proceed with the article at my talk page before I saw this, so I won't repeat it here. If you have any questions about it, just reply at my talk page.
Normally I wouldn't say anything kikichugirl, but since I am here anyway I would recommend against adding comments such as "use citation templates" to a review. Bad formatting is never a valid reason reason to decline a review so making such comments just confuses things. Same thing with the "very short" comment - we allow stubs on Wikipedia & AfC is no different. If you want to make such comments, be sure to make it clear that it is just advice, not a requirement for acceptance. --ThaddeusB (talk) 20:30, 29 March 2015 (UTC)
Thanks, ThaddeusB, it was simply advice, not a requirement as even when it goes to AFD people won't care about that. I'll be sure to make that clearer in the future. — kikichugirl oh hello! 20:34, 29 March 2015 (UTC)
Thanks both for your help and comments, back to the drawing board! Popstopher (talk) 11:45, 1 April 2015 (UTC)

Article Submission: 180fusion

Kikichugirl,

Thank you, first of all, for your feedback on the article. I was wondering if you could provide me with some more concrete feedback regarding which parts of the article are not suitable for Wikipedia publication. Is there certain content that should be deleted? Or phrasing that should be reworded? Please see the article itself for reference: 180fusion

Any and all feedback would be welcomed.

Thanks!

Ha.Hoffman (talk) 19:38, 2 April 2015 (UTC)

Ha.Hoffman, your draft doesn't necessarily contain anything unsuitable for Wikipedia, it's just not written in a formal encyclopedic tone. You say almost nothing about the company itself and what it does, but instead laud its accomplishments and praise (the definition of promotional writing). My suggestion would be to take the articles discussed in the "Publications" section and use what they say (without directly copying) to add more information to the draft. You also need to make sure that information about the company (location, ownership, etc) is supported by reliable sources. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 10:10, 3 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

A barnstar for you!

The Original Barnstar
Thanks for your ongoing work in relisting AfD discussions, an oft-unnoticed contribution area that helps to keep things running smoothly. North America1000 06:16, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

Draft:Colby Keller

Hi Kikichugirl,

Thanks for reviewing my draft (Colby Keller). I've made quite a few revisions using your suggestions and have removed several other 'unreliable' (at least I'm assuming they're deemed as such, based on your recommendations) citations. Would you be so kind as to take another look and let me know if there are further changes I should make before resubmitting?

Thanks in advance for your help. --LDBlakeley (talk) 15:19, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

LDBlakeley, you've managed to source a number of reliable sources (there's a full list of unreliable sources at WP:PORN), but at the moment your draft is only supported by PRIMARY sources (interviews and the like). Primary sources are discouraged since there is no oversight (and in theory the person being interviewed could lie). As a minor point which Fiddle Faddle brought up on the page itself, do try to remove any external links from the body of the text, and (if relevant) add them to the External links section. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 16:09, 4 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

Edited article "Mariestella Racal"

Good day Kikichu!

I already edited my article's sources Maris Racal kindly review the changes and please let me know if it passes the criteria. Your help is very much appreciated. thank you! --Inajane (talk) 16:13, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

inajane — Preceding unsigned comment added by Inajane (talkcontribs) 16:06, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

Inajane, I have declined your draft because it is not properly referenced. Please see the draft itself for more comments. Primefac (talk) 16:19, 4 April 2015 (UTC)

00:19:51, 6 April 2015 review of submission by Strudal21


The reason I am asking for the creation of the article on the "Jaguar XF (X250)" is so that it can be split from the "Jaguar XF" page. The reason I want the pages split is because there is another Jaguar XF generation coming out later this year. The X250 is the first generation car, the second generation car will have a different number (the number is yet to be released). Splitting the X250 page from the main XF page will bring the article in line with other articles on multiple generation cars such as BMW 3 series and Jaguar XJ. Article link below: User:Strudal21/sandbox

Thank you, and i hope you will reconsider. Strudal21 (talk) 00:19, 6 April 2015 (UTC)

Strudal21, there may be another XF coming out later this year, but it has not come out yet and thus there is nothing to write about. Until there is a substantial amount of press (and therefore sources to use as references) it is TOOSOON to have a split. Depending on what the changes are, it still might not merit a split, but only time will tell that. Primefac (talk) 09:48, 7 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

22:11:41, 5 April 2015 review of submission by Holynightfever


Hi Kikichugirl. I'm writing to query your rejection of my article submission Snails_Kids because I disagree with (or perhaps misunderstand) you reasons for rejecting it.

You wrote "This submission appears to read more like an advertisement than an entry in an encyclopedia. Encyclopedia articles need to be written from a neutral point of view, and should refer to a range of independent, reliable, published sources, not just to materials produced by the creator of the subject being discussed." However every sentence of the article is a simple statement of fact backed by independent references. Could you please explain your reasons in your own words?

Thanks,

Holynightfever (talk) 22:11, 5 April 2015 (UTC)

Holynightfever, you missed a line in that decline notice: not just to materials produced by the creator. At the moment the draft reads like a product catalogue; there is nothing regarding the company itself, only a listing of its products. Add some more information about Snails Kids and the draft will be better off. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 09:57, 7 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

15:52:13, 7 April 2015 review of submission by LittleGold


Hello Thank you very much for reviewing the article, I have made some changes and hopefully it will meet the guidelines now. Please let me know if it reads too much like an advertisement still and if the references are all ok. I have tried to keep the subject in the headline of each article... Thanks again

LittleGold (talk) 15:52, 7 April 2015 (UTC)

Imagine no religion, it's easy if you try.

Hi Kikichugirl,

I was stalking your user page and noticed that you are not religious and also believed that freedom of religion is not an excuse for stupidity. I'm on the same page with you, and just wanted to say that I'm upset by the new laws that have been passed in the US recently giving religion legal impunity to discriminate based on sexual orientation. In my view, this is akin to allowing churches to turn people away for their race or any other trait that is out of our control. I fell away from my religion 13 years ago (I was born and raised in an extremely Mormon household), and for years even though I wasn't religious I didn't really have anything to explain the gaps in life that are usually filled by religion. That is until I started getting really into science, more specifically, string theory, M-theory, physics, astrophysics, and so forth. My first introduction to this type of science was the double-slit experiment, which really opened my eyes to the strange and wonderful world of science, which in my opinion is much more mysterious and beautiful than anything religion has to offer. Finally, have you heard of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? If not you would probably be amused! It's nice to talk to like-minded people sometimes so I figured I write to you, even though it's not really wiki-related. Anyways, hope you are enjoying your day. Cheers. -War wizard90 (talk) 04:29, 9 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments from Ylizzaj

Hi,Kikichugirl!

I was reading a few articles about football clubs here in Manila and I came across Carrigans F.C. and Ceres Crius FC. Just noticed that Ceres Crius FC's article has notability/reference issues. Wondering what could've been the problem. How come Carrigans FC did not have any issue even if their reference/s is basically their website and another site that can no longer be found. I think Ceres Crius FC's article is all right. Provides adequate information about their club and reference/s.

Cheers! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ylizzaj (talkcontribs) 05:40, 9 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi, Kikichugirl!

I was reading a few articles about the football clubs in Manila and I came across Ceres Crius FC and Carrigans FC's articles. I noticed that that Ceres Crius FC has issues about references/notability. Just wondering what could have been the problem coz with Carrigans FC's article, they basically just have their website as their reference and another site which can no longer be found now. I just think that Ceres Crius FC's article is all right. It has adequate information about their club and provides several reference as well. =)

Ceres Crius FC's article is at Draft:Ceres Crius Football Club Carrigans FC's article is at Carrigans F.C.

Cheers!

Ylizzaj (talk) 05:48, 9 April 2015 (UTC)

15:22:34, 9 April 2015 review of submission by SamHeath4


Good morning! My article "Christian Study Centers" (found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Christian_Study_Centers) was recently declined.

There are no more sources that exist surrounding this subject -- meaning, there are none I can add -- so do I strategically delete certain ones that are not appropriate? I do not understand why the sources are not appropriate, being form such varied and trustworthy sources as First Things, NPR, the historian Mark Noll, Christianity Today, and the New York Times.

There was also mention of the article's tone being like an advertisement. How can that be changed? Specifically, what aspects of the article are not fitting for an encyclopedia?

Thank you so much for your help.


SamHeath4 (talk) 15:22, 9 April 2015 (UTC)

09:58:12, 10 April 2015 review of submission by Isaiah.onyango


Kindly advise on the article.

Draft:Jobberman

It wasn't meant to be an advertisement as the review suggests...it is just information on who and how the business was started and where it operates. There is no mention of its products nor how it operates...i dont believe it thus qualifies as an advertisement. Kindly review or advise on what i should remove/edit for it to comply.

Regards,

Isaiah.

Isaiah.onyango (talk) 09:58, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

Isaiah.onyango, kikichugirl left some very detailed feedback on why she felt it read like an advertisement (along with some other helpful suggestions) on the draft itself. I would suggest reading through them and improving the draft. Primefac (talk) 11:09, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

Draft:Buyrentkenya

Kindly advise on the article.

Draft:Buyrentkenya

It wasn't meant to be an advertisement as the review suggests...it is just information on who and how the business was started and where it operates. There is no mention of its products nor how it operates...i dont believe it thus qualifies as an advertisement. Kindly review or advise on what i should remove/edit for it to comply.

Regards,

Isaiah. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Isaiah.onyango (talkcontribs) 09:55, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

Isaiah.onyango, I think you might have gotten your decline notices mixed up. Buyrentkenya was declined because the sources do not demonstrate how the business is notable. As kikichugirl suggested on the draft itself, please see WP:42 for a (very) brief guide to notability. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 11:14, 10 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

Hi kikichugirl, I saw your review of this page and I actually disagree with it. I don't feel that the page is promotional. Sure, there are some positives listed, but of course it's not a problem and it's in fact written in a very objective tone. @Holynightfever: for reference, here is the message. Thanks! Darylgolden(talk) Ping when replying 13:56, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

22:08:59, 10 April 2015 review of submission by 71.9.63.250


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:ESChat

While there are references to company provided materials, there are also many others that did not originate from the company. I feel the external third party references fully support the notable contribution that ESChat is making on its industry and I don't understand your denial of the article. If not, please be more specific regarding the number of allowed company references vs the number of required external references.

Thanks,

Josh

71.9.63.250 (talk) 22:08, 10 April 2015 (UTC)

Joshlober, there is a difference between simply proving that a product/company/etc exist, and actually talking about it. When I went through the references, none of them discussed ESChat in any detail except the company's own page (which is a primary source and thus unreliable). The other sources only said "they used ESChat" or "ESChat is a good product" without going into any detail. I should mention that PRWeb, as the name suggests, is a place for Press Releases (which are primary sources). Also, YouTube is generally not considered a reliable source. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 22:23, 10 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

Can you be more specific about what you dont like

Hi Kikichugirl,

Thank you for reviewing Draft:DataXoom_Corp <---hope I got this syntax right. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:DataXoom_Corp

And so fast! I thought there was a 10 day backlog?

However, yours is the second boilerplate rejection I have received.

I really though I had nailed it this time.

Can you be more specific about what it is you don't like?

I have labored over being neutral and providing references and proof of noteworthiness, trying to second-guess the last boilerplate rejection, my plea for more specifics being unanswered.

Do you look at reference 1 http://www.bestmvno.com/dataxoom-mvno-providing-data-business/ from BestMVNO.com a FREE MVNO directory? This is a company who's business it is to be authority on MVNOs and they have singled out DataXoom as one of a kind. DataXoom did not pay them, bribe them or incent them to do so in any way.

I fear if I try to second guess your objections again, I'll just end up with the same result. There must be something more specific you can tell me about what you disliked.

Thank you

Markcowtan (talk) 01:59, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

18:48:24, 8 April 2015 review of submission by Bpscholz


Hi, I removed as much subjective content as possible, and I sourced every statement in the bio. The discography, bibliography, and filmography info will be sourced as soon as we can compile all the references, however it would be great to get this page active as soon as possible. Thanks! Ben Bpscholz (talk) 18:48, 8 April 2015 (UTC)

Note, this draft has subsequently been declined, with reasons added to the draft page itself. Primefac (talk) 09:48, 11 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

January 1914

January 1914 is a redirect to a month in 1914, I want to move this in over the redirect as *many* other months are. The redirect needs to be deleted so that Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/January 1914 can be moved there. I can do the approval, I just can't do the removal of the redirect.Naraht (talk) 01:39, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

Naraht, you're asking the wrong hippo, kiki doesn't have any authority to get pages moved. I would suggest G6'ing the redirect as a page move. Primefac (talk) 09:32, 11 April 2015 (UTC)
Primefac Thanx, I had forgotten that that was the way to go.Naraht (talk) 12:01, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

Section break

I do need your assistance. It may take some of your valuable time, but I really do need your help. You recently rejected my article on the artist Rinaldo Paluzzi. I have personally talked to the curator of a major museum in Los Angeles, who agreed with me that Rinaldo Paluzzi is considered to be a Notable American Abstract Expressionist artist. I do understand the need to establish the Notability of Paluzzi and include references; and I believe I have done so in my article.

But please explain something to me?

Since Paluzzi was an American Abstract Expressionist Artist, I examined the list of artists whose mature work related to the American Abstract Expressionist movement (see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abstract_expressionism) (Note: 7.2 Other artists) and may I suggest my article on Paluzzi includes more information establishing his notability and references than do the articles on the following artists listed there: William Brice , Alexander Bogen (was neither significant nor American), Charles Ragland Bunnell, Edward Corbett, Lynne Mapp Drexler, Jean Dubuffet, Sam Gilliam, Joseph Glasco, John D. Graham, Stephen Greene, Gino Hollander, Frances Kornbluth, André Lansky, Michael Lowe, John Levee, Herbert Matter (he was not an Abstract Expressionist, he was a photographer and graphic designer), Seong Moy, Jan Müller, Pat Passlof, Earle M. Pilgraim, Aaron Siskind (a photographer who had little to do with the Abstract Expressionist movement), Ary Stillman, and Cora Kelley Ward. PLEASE look at the WIKIPEDIA articles on each of the above and explain why they have an article and Paluzzi does not?

By the age of 32, his work was already in major collections and being shown in major exhibitions. [1]

Also, may I suggest you look at the following:

http://www.javierbmartin.com/index.php/textos/535-obito-rinaldo-paluzzi

http://www.javierbmartin.com/index.php/pintores-javier-b-martin/222-rinaldo-paluzzi

Please go to: http://www.inwhiteriver.com/attractioncategory/public-art/ Scroll down to “Totem” and read the bio on Paluzzi. If that doesn’t establish his nobility and references more than all the artists listed in section 7.2 of the American Abstract Expressionist article, I don’t understand what will?

After taking the time to do what I have requested, please let me know exactly what needs to be added to my article for it to be included in WIKIPEDIA.

I am age 90.85 and may not live long enough to see my article in WIKIPEDIA.

With cordial regards, SirSwindon Sirswindon (talk) 19:48, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi Sirswindon, there are a few things to mention before we talk about your draft. First, is that we have a phrase on Wikipedia called "OTHERSTUFFEXISTS", which essentially means that the existence of one article (good or bad) does not mean that a similar article should be created. Every article must stand up to its own merit. Additionally, some of the articles you mention above were created well before the AfC process was around, and the standards were much lower. At some point I'll peruse the articles you mention above, and some of them might even be deleted. Now, on to your query.
The main reason why your draft has been declined is because you have not provided enough independent reliable sources that show that Paluzzi is/was notable. The (very) short version regarding notability is at WP:42. You should be using the inwhiteriver source you listed above in the draft! If he is indeed notable (and I'm not saying that he is or isn't), then there should be numerous sources out there to corroborate that. Additionally, in order to verify the facts in the draft, please use inline citations (see WP:REFB) so that each fact can be easily checked. This is not an absolute requirement since Paluzzi is dead, but it will help your draft substantially. Essentially, you will need enough sources to prove all the facts in the draft. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 20:10, 11 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)
I think the article is good enough as it stands to pass AfC--the only real requirement there is that it will probably pass a deletion discussion at AfD. The article meets the primary criterion that the artist have works in major permanent collections. I therefore accepted it. It does need additional documentation, especially for the specific works that are in the museum collections. Anyone who disagrees is of course welcome to take it for a discussion at AfD. DGG ( talk ) 22:26, 11 April 2015 (UTC)

References

Editor of the Week

Editor of the Week
Your ongoing efforts to improve the encyclopedia have not gone unnoticed: You have been selected as Editor of the Week for "prolific" work at AFC. Thank you for the great contributions! (courtesy of the Wikipedia Editor Retention Project)

User:Lixxx235 submitted the following nomination for Editor of the Week:

It is my honor to nominate Kikichugirl as Editor of the Week. Kikichugirl is an absolutely prolific AFC reviewer. She regularly sits down and reviews dozens of AfCs at a time. She's never hesitant to poll the other reviewers on #wikipedia-en-helpers connect and takes criticism (that she rarely deserves) extremely well. Other than AFC, Kikichugirl does WP:DELSORT and reverts vandalism. Kikichugirl is a wonderful editor and a model of what editors (including me) should aim to be.

You can copy the following text to your user page to display a user box proclaiming your selection as Editor of the Week:

{{subst:Wikipedia:WikiProject Editor Retention/Editor of the Week/Recipient user box}}
Kikichugirl
A proud member of WikiProject Songs
 
Editor of the Week
for the week beginning April 12, 2015
Active since July 2013, always uses edit summary to gently inform newbies of the bad news, an extremely valuable and important role model, 35% of her 10K edits are to article space,
Recognized for
Love, Lust, Faith and Dreams Tour, AfC reviewer, vandal-fighter.
Notable work(s)
Her best Quality is her supportive demeanor with Newbies. She retains editors when they are fresh and eager to participate
Nomination page

Thanks again for your efforts! Seconders' comments expounded on her work at AFC, noting her consistent communication with new users. Go Phightins! 20:01, 12 April 2015 (UTC)

  • Thank you for your work on Wikipedia, and congratulations on the award! --L235 (t / c / ping in reply) 20:06, 12 April 2015 (UTC)
  • Congratulations. You do lots of cool stuff and you deserved something for it. ekips39 (talk) 20:08, 12 April 2015 (UTC)
  • Thanks for your continuing efforts to improve Wikipedia for its thousands of daily visitors. . Buster Seven Talk 20:53, 12 April 2015 (UTC)

Supponor article rejection

Hi,

In reference to the rejection of the article about sports and media company, Supponor Draft:Supponor, I have made some additions to the article that I hope will help to increase its possibility of submission. I have added further information into the initial introduction to try to highlight why Supponor and their product DBRLive should be included in an encyclopaedia - I initially kept this out to try to ensure it didn't read like a promotional piece.

DBRLive visual advertising technology is the only technology that has been developed with the ability to display different advertisements to different viewers who are watching the same sporting event on the perimeter boards of football fields/hockey pitches etc.

On the Wiki page for Virtual Advertising Supponor's DBRLive system is used as an example of virtual advertising for sporting events.

I think those reasons are why it is notable enpugh for Wikipedia and I hope I have managed to get that across in a balanced and well-referenced manner.

I've also added further references within the piece from reliable sources.

I'd appreciate any further comments that you have if you feel it is still not acceptable for submission.

Thanks in advance, --Charlottecourtleeds (talk) 09:10, 9 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi,

In response to your comment to remove articles from Supponor, I have deleted the three https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Supponor&redirect=no article references in the article and replaced them with third party information.

Thanks for your advice and I hope this helps get the article approved.

Thanks --Charlottecourtleeds (talk) 10:43, 13 April 2015 (UTC)

Invitation

A barnstar for you!

The Original Barnstar
go ahead shuvokhan123 21:11, 15 April 2015 (UTC)

Re: Draft:Cory Hall biographical submission

Hello Kikichugirl,

Please help me understand why a biographical page written about myself, a world-renowned classical pianist, needs citations? My article was not accepted due to insufficient citations. What types of citations does one need for a simple auto-biographical page?

Thank you for your help!

Sincerely, Cory Hall

Ralkram (talk) 01:02, 14 April 2015 (UTC)

Ralkram, Wikipedia is not Facebook or LinkedIn; it's an encyclopedia. If you're the only person who's writing this page, and do not provide references, how are we to know that you aren't making it all up? See WP:AUTOBIO for more information about autobiographies, WP:REFB for information about referencing, and WP:42 to determine if you meet the notability requirements. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 14:33, 14 April 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)
comment had a look at this and as it stands does not meet WP:ANYBIO, WP:ARTIST or WP:NMUSIC. From these words in the draft article: "discovered one of J.S. Bach's compositional trade secrets", "Hall's groundbreaking theory became highly controversial" and "considered by many to be one of the world's leading interpreters of classic ragtime music", i thought it would be relatively easy to find some reliable sources. But, from a google search, and checking the first 200 hits they are all music download sites except this from the st petersburg times: [1] (i was unable to find the sacramento bee article) There is nothing else, nothing from google news or books. Hopefully the article creator can find some Coolabahapple (talk) 08:27, 16 April 2015 (UTC) kitten stalker:)

13:45:00, 16 April 2015 review of submission by Zjmg40


I asked in -en-help, and marktraceur was confused as to what part of the article read like an advertisement. Could you confirm? I'd like to request a re-review because everything included in the text is cited to a reputable source and is framed in the exact same way as many other biographies. Please let me know if there is a portion that raises any concerns and I'd be happy to re-write or add additional sources. Thanks in advance for your time!

Zjmg40 (talk) 13:45, 16 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi Kikichu, I'm writing in regards to Draft:Bulpros. I am using Softengi as a sample and I'm using the same word style. Could you elaborate on why the article reads like an advertisement - you have left some guiding notes last time which I have complied to, but none on your last review (15th of April)? Thanks for your help! Redstainedfriday (talk) 06:48, 16 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi, Redstainedfriday. Wikipedia is a work in progress; as such, there will be many articles on Wikipedia that have not been sufficiently improved, as well as poorly-written articles that need to be deleted. Generally, we do not use the existence of other articles to argue for the validity of another. This is called OTHERSTUFFEXISTS. All articles on WIkipedia are graded by quality, and the highest rating is Featured-class. Featured articles, which can be found here, are what you should be looking at if you are looking for articles to imitate. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, the IRC channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. — kikichugirl oh hello! 21:09, 16 April 2015 (UTC)

Re: Draft Mark Saint Juste

Thanks for your comment on Draft:Mark_Saint_Juste. I removed all references to IMDB per your advice. Jazzypr2015 (talk) 02:36, 17 April 2015 (UTC)

Your submission at Articles for creation: Agender (April 19)

Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. The reason left by Huon was: Please check the submission for any additional comments left by the reviewer. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved.
Huon (talk) 23:07, 19 April 2015 (UTC)

Karl Dalhouse

Hi, your "no consensus keep decision" for Karl Dalhouse has shown up in an abuse discussion about Arb. Information icon There is currently a discussion at Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents regarding an issue with which you may have been involved. Thank you. Be..anyone (talk) 09:59, 20 April 2015 (UTC)

Array Networks

Hello!

I saw the Array Networks page was updated with promotional content and read your comments. I deleted all the new updates and put back the text that was there previously. Are you able to give any additional feedback at this time?

Thank you in advance! Rachelamarshall (talk) 15:06, 23 April 2015 (UTC)

Hillary Rodham Clinton - Move Discussion

Hi,

This is a notification to let you know that there is a requested move discussion ongoing at Talk:Hillary_Rodham_Clinton/April_2015_move_request#Requested_move. You are receiving this notification because you have previously participated in some capacity in naming discussions related to the article in question.

Thanks. And have a nice day. NickCT (talk) 18:41, 26 April 2015 (UTC)

Draft:Jayantilal_Gad

user name: Yatin Rewale article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Jayantilal_Gada Hello - I've just seen that My article I submitted for review Draft:Jayantilal Gada has been rejected after review. I made some necessary changes in my article.Please tell me what changes need to do so my Article is approved .Please help me thank you.Yatin Rewale (talk) 08:53, 27 April 2015 (UTC)

RfC: New helper policy

Hello member of Category:Wikipedians who use IRC! You are invited to join an ongoing discussion on Wikipedia talk:IRC/wikipedia-en-help aimed at defining a policy for prerequisites to being a helper in the "#wikipedia-en-help connect" channel in a section titled "New helper policy".

To prevent future mailings about IRC, you may remove your user page from Category:Wikipedians who use IRC.
Assistance is available upon request if you can't figure out where it is being added to your user page.
This message has been sent by MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 11:59, 27 April 2015 (UTC) on behalf of — {{U|Technical 13}} (etc)

Would love specific feedback on Sonia Gutierrez Page

Hello! Thank you for reviewing our article about Sonia Gutierrez. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Sonia_Gutierrez#Carlos_Rosario_School_Founder) This is my first time submitting a Wikipedia entry, and I would welcome any specific feedback you have about how to make the entry better. Best, Mandy — Preceding unsigned comment added by 38.70.10.18 (talk) 21:10, 27 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi

I would request you to review my page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_wathba_national_insurance_awnic). I am new to wikipedia and I would appreciateif you could review my page and suggest changes. It will promote new users like me to create pages and be active contributor on wikipedia.

I respect your suggest to wiki, but would have preferred suggestion to improve on my page.

Regards. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Iloveabudhabi (talkcontribs) 09:05, 2 May 2015 (UTC)

I feel a little bad going over your head, but a helpee pinged me about Draft:John Marshall and I accepted it as John Marshall (entrepreneur) because

  1. I didn't see the promotional language you did
  2. Someone blanked a promotional-ish section in revisions

If you disagree, feel free to move it back to the draftspace, but I'm pretty happy with the article. --MarkTraceur (talk) 04:34, 7 May 2015 (UTC)

Oyecrystal (talk) 18:32, 14 May 2015 (UTC)Thank you for your kind feedback of my first created page for Bezalel.Inc.

Yes, it is really disappointed to be deleted again and again, I really want to give up and do not touch wiki again. However, I think it is really a pity to have no results. Then I follow all the discussion to modify and create page of ARK (Portable wireless charger). But it is deleted again. I really do not know how to do next. The discussion is like really mean to me. It is like I can never create my page successfully because what I do is meaningless. Can you please give me more advise and instruction? I appreciate it so much!

08:20:55, 7 May 2015 review of submission by Roaldnel


Thank you for your feedback.

I have a question. How is my proposed article (Draft:Begin Japanology) different from Kekkon Dekinai Otoko for instance (there are many other examples on wikipedia)? I have read the wikipedia guidelines carefully but I also browsed the website to see what other articles currently exist to get a feeling for what is acceptable and what is not.

This article is a submission for a university project and your reason for declining it does not give me the opportunity to improve the article in any way. I would appreciate it if you could give me any ideas on how we can resolve this issue and get the article accepted.

Thank you in advance.

Roaldnel (talk) 08:20, 7 May 2015 (UTC)

Hi Roaldnel, I have had a look at your draft article and it does not meet WP:GNG. The 7 references cannot be used for notability requirements (see WP:THIRDPARTY and WP:INDEPTH), being from the broadcaster, IMDb and the Japanese wiki (By the way, if i was an editor on the Japanese Wikipedia and came across the article that your draft cites i would have real concerns about its notability!).
You also give Kekkon Dekinai Otoko as an article similar to your draft so why can't your subject have an article. However, this cannot be used as an argument for article creation (see Wikipedia:Other stuff exists. (By the way, I have tagged that article with notability concerns.)
Wikiarticles I have found helpful are WP:NOTABILITY, WP:CITE and WP:VERIFY. Also, as your proposed article is about a tv series, you might like to take a look at WP:EPISODE. Coolabahapple (talk) 11:27, 15 May 2015 (UTC)kitten attacks...meow!

Charley Mace

Can you tell me how a page like this gets approved? None of the links work, and even if they did, is it noteworthy information? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Mace Briansmith451 (talk) 13:55, 24 April 2015 (UTC)

Hi Briansmith451, it wasn't "approved" and I have added a reference and notability tag to the article (although i am not experienced with academics articles, I will probably put it up for deletion within the next few days, thanks for finding it!Coolabahapple (talk) 12:35, 15 May 2015 (UTC)kitten attacks...meow!

13:37:54, 17 May 2015 review of submission by Sbrsiva1985


Hi, Thanks for reviewing my article. It helped me a lot to improve my articles. This is my first article and I've made few changes in citations for reference links. I would be thankful if you could help me to create this article on Wikipedia. Kindly advice me how I can improve my article and please find below by sandbox link.

"My Sanbox Article"

Sbrsiva1985 (talk) 13:37, 17 May 2015 (UTC)

Hi Kikichugirl, just to let you know that Sbrsiva1985(talk) article is now live:) here it is: Dindigul Thalappakatti RestaurantCoolabahapple (talk) 03:17, 4 June 2015 (UTC)kitten attacks...meow!

Job

Mew, Mew, Mew

A full time job .... Nooooo! What about all the little kittens articles which need looking after.Coolabahapple (talk) 03:29, 4 June 2015 (UTC)

The Talks latest draft

Hi there! Back again. Hope you're doing well!

Wondered if you could have a look back through my latest draft for 'The Talks'. Have found a fair few sturdy citations, and had a general tidy up. Any more feedback would be much appreciated!!

http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:The_Talks

AOOHull (talk) 13:59, 5 June 2015 (UTC)

Alex Gilbert article

Hello Kikichugirl,

I have updated and fixed the following article - Draft:Alex_Gilbert with new reliable sources. Including:

Both secondary sources. You will need a VPN to play the TV3 website clip for NZ if you live outside of NZ.

Thank You!

Dmitry --DmitryPopovRU (talk) 03:18, 6 June 2015 (UTC)

re-submitted article for review

hi Kikichugirl,

You reviewed my draft for institutional investor journals. I resubmitted it after editing. Its been over 3 weeks. Could you please re-review it?

205.217.108.5 (talk) 16:21, 8 June 2015 (UTC)

Prime Focus Technologies - Wiki Article

Hello,

This is regarding the Prime Focus Technologies Wikipedia article that is in the Draft section, Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Prime_Focus_Technologies

I have revised the article and have also changed the tone of the article, so that it does not read like a press release. Can you please review the article once again and approve the changes. Also if you still think that the article reads like a press release/news article, it would be great if you could tell me about how the article can be made better.

All your help will be greatly appreciated, awaiting your response.

Thank You!! — Preceding unsigned comment added by AayushyaBajpai (talkcontribs) 11:54, 12 June 2015 (UTC)

Prime Focus Technologies - Wiki Article

Hello Kikichugirl,

It will be great if you could re-view the article once again, I have revised the article and also corrected the flow, to make the article more encyclopaedic.

Thank you!

— Preceding unsigned comment added by AayushyaBajpai (talkcontribs)

Hi, AayushyaBajpai, you have to submit it before I can review it. Make sure you've addressed the comments of the previous reviewers before you do. Thanks! — kikichugirl oh hello! 00:21, 16 June 2015 (UTC)

Untitled

Hi, Sorry if I do not send my message to the right box, I am new to Wikipedia. The site says it was you who deleted the article and I cannot find anyone else who rejected it. I am asking you about Arkshya and Rajesh site. They offer online PowerPoint tutorials. What was wrong with my article? Greets, Alice Forest 17 June 2015 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Alexandra Alice Forest (talkcontribs) 10:56, 17 June 2015 (UTC)

Hi Alexandra Alice Forest and welcome to Wikipedia. I'm sorry, but I can't help you if you don't provide a link, like the gigantic notice at the top of my screen says. It also says that I cannot delete articles. Thanks, — kikichugirl oh hello! 20:41, 17 June 2015 (UTC)

AfC

Hi. I wouldn't criticise your enthusiasm for a moment - and you know that - but I have removed the entry you made for Quinto Simmaco. As I introduced the rule of 500 mainspace edits which was supported by consensus, I'm a bit of a stickler to see it upheld. Exceptions will only get everyone asking to be an exception. Take care and kindest regards, --Kudpung กุดผึ้ง (talk) 11:45, 14 June 2015 (UTC)

@Kudpung: being a stickler is fine, but what you've done is pull access from a capable and competent user with more than 500 edits in total, preventing them from assisting in managing an enormous backlog down to a sensible level. Removing access before any issue becomes apparent is punitive and frankly quite silly. I'm inviting you to restore access, or I'll do so myself. Nick (talk) 23:56, 14 June 2015 (UTC)
@Kudpung: There is also the differerence between being a stickler and using Wikipedia as an WP:MMORPG. Just because you came up with the idea of the list, doesn't allow you go go out of arms to protect it as your WP:OWN. (tJosve05a (c) 19:48, 17 June 2015 (UTC)
As the great pillar of Wikipedia (the fifth one) states, ignore all rules. When multiple users vouches for a users compentancy, then start a discussion, since there is a new consensus, for that user specifically. (tJosve05a (c) 19:53, 17 June 2015 (UTC)
(Moved from Josve05a's talk page here by Josve05a) Before you start quoting words like 'conesensus' at me, you might be interested enough to check on the consensus that was decided by the community to actually get rid of the AfC system completely. And you may also like to adopt a less combatitive attitude. --Kudpung กุดผึ้ง (talk) 02:37, 19 June 2015 (UTC)
WP:Consensus is not something set in stone. It is what we have agrees upon and what the current opinion of something is. But my word choices should not impact on how this is threated. I do not have a combative attitude. I'm just calling it as I see it. And here multiple AfC-reviewers has voiced their opinions of a user, and that should constitute a new consensus regarding that specific user in comparison to the rules policies guidelines consensus (on who should get access to the tool, not who is allowed to review.)
An no, I would not be interested in reading about some other bs-thing, which has noting to do with this. Please, and I beg you, stop using this list as your personal WP:BATTLEGROUND. There is consensus (see users above, and other talk pages which you have branched this discussion to) to let this user be an exception from the current consensus on who should be allowed to use the tool. (4 vs 1 = consensus). (tJosve05a (c) 03:08, 19 June 2015 (UTC)
Agree with @Josve05a: here, Quinto is more then capable, and many users have vouched for his experience, and removing his access to the tool is not needed, as he is perfectly capable of using it. Thanks, TheMesquitobuzz 03:12, 19 June 2015 (UTC)
Agreed with the above. While I completely respect the 500 edit count and the reasons behind it, Quinto has been active in IRC for months now and has received instruction/advice/assistance from at least a dozen skilled reviewers and admins. Will this open the door to every Tom, Dick, and Harry asking for an exception to the 500 rule? Maybe. Will they get it? Probably not. That's what discussions are made for.
P.S. Sorry for hijacking your wall kikichugirl Primefac (talk) 09:29, 19 June 2015 (UTC)

confused more than ever

Good Afternoon,

Thank you for reviewing my submission. After printing out other editors suggestions, and following them by taking out articles/news writing by anyone except government agencies, newspapers, trade publications and regulatory agencies and the article was still rejected. I also "mirrored" the article as much as possible after NRU, NRC and other similar nuclear medicine wiki-sites. I stated the facts as they are to the company and am still confused about this. Please advise. Draft:SHINE_Medical_Technologies Thank you so much! PattiMoly99 (talk) 20:43, 19 June 2015 (UTC)

PattiMoly99, just as a helpful bit of advice, unless you link to the draft/page you are asking about, kikichugirl will not respond to your message. Cheers, Primefac (talk) 23:01, 19 June 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

Draft Article: Electric Motor Efficiency

Dear Kikichugirl, I'm user Capiel PG1 and tried to upload the article Electric Motor effficiency on under my username.

Draft:Electric motor efficiency

In the past this article was deleted, the reason was: this is not a typical wikipedia article, there was only one reference for the whole article, and write in a neutral position

I tried to modify the article, add several references and sources as well as I tried to write in a neutral position.

This article is very important for the CAPIEL Gruop, please help to correct and release this article. if something is missing or incorrect, please let me know.

best regards

Gerd Brenning

member of CAPIEL PG1 — Preceding unsigned comment added by CAPIEL PG1 (talkcontribs) 13:34, 22 June 2015 (UTC)

Hi, CAPIEL PG1, and please remember to sign your posts. Thank you for providing a link, I looked at your page. Please remember that we are not for advertising and as such, we do not care if it is important for your company or not. The article still reads like a technical jargon pamphlet instead of an essay. Additionally, you may want to take a look at WP:Your first article, WP:ORGFAQ, and WP:COI to make sure that you are complying with relevant Wikipedia policies. Best, — kikichugirl oh hello! 09:16, 24 June 2015 (UTC)

23:34:20, 28 June 2015 review of submission by 59.93.71.9


Hey,

Thanks for your review.

This is my first such page creation for Wikipedia. Not sure what went wrong but can you please guide me as to how to fix this error with Mara mentor. I think it is a really cool app as some of my friends in Africa use this to boost there business. I have tried to include references, should I add some more or should I create a sandbox page?

I know you are busy but many thanks for taking out time to review the page and for responding to my query.

Thanks, Ameena


59.93.71.9 (talk) 23:34, 28 June 2015 (UTC)

Hope you have fun!

Us kittens will try to look after your talkpage

Coolabahapple (talk) 17:06, 3 July 2015 (UTC)

Thank you for the advice! Have done as you suggested

Thank you for the advice on our Russ Emanuel page! : https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Draft:Russ_Emanuel We have done as you suggested and removed IMDB from our references. One question, some film event awards are only listed on IMDB, is it okay to list their official festival film results IMDB page as a reference? Thank you for your time! 04:47, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

Alex Gilbert

Hello!

Please look at Draft:Alex Gilbert. I'm not sure how to correctly get this up for a deletion review.

Thanks! Dmitry! --DmitryPopovRU (talk) 04:15, 24 August 2015 (UTC)

DmitryPopovRU, you seem to have managed to post the Deletion Review properly. Primefac (talk) 08:53, 24 August 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

14:00:16, 24 August 2015 review of submission by JW106


Hi Thanks for the opportunity of contacting you I submitted Draft:Trevor Gray - you said references aren't adequately supported by reliable sources - so you mean discogs/allmusic/imdb are not reliable? The whole music and film industries use these resources as gospel. I understand they are user-inputted like Wiki is, but they are constantly monitored and edited. Surely the sheer weight of links shows the notability of an entry. I see these sources everywhere in Wiki pages on huge artists. I'm confused... Regards James


JW106 (talk) 14:00, 24 August 2015 (UTC)

JW106, discogs is unreliable according to WikiProject Albums, since it is user-generated material. This is the same reasoning why Wikipedia can't be used as a reference for a Wikipedia article. Once we remove the unreliable sources kikichugirl listed, all you are left with is a brief mention on MTV and quotes from Trevor in the soundonsound article. Thus, your draft is not only not reliable sourced, it does not demonstrate his notability. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 14:26, 24 August 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

00:45:50, 29 August 2015 review of submission by Fusionem


Fusionem (talk) 00:45, 29 August 2015 (UTC)

13:31:35, 6 September 2015 review of submission by Ongaku ongaku


Hello, you declined the article [[2]] due to insufficient reliable sources. More credible sources were added, and the article is resubmitted for review. Please feel free to let me know if there is anything more I can do. Thanks!

Ongaku ongaku (talk) 13:31, 6 September 2015 (UTC) Ongaku ongaku (talk) 13:52, 6 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi there, Ongaku ongaku, thanks for your note! Your article will be reviewed in due time; there are currently 2,729 waiting to be reviewed. It may take a while before someone else gets to yours. (Reviewing your article before another review defeats the purpose of the review process.) If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. — kikichugirl oh hello! 04:45, 9 September 2015 (UTC)

21:07:25, 8 September 2015 review of submission by Pflint


Hi Kikichugirl .. I'm really new at this :-(

I have made a few changes / added references from the Internet. I do get the spirit of Wikipedia and I am trying my hardest .. really! Would you please have a look now at the revised/expanded article and see what you think? Thank you!

Link is here (hope I'm doing this right) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Wildeboer_Dellelce

Paul

Pflint (talk) 21:07, 8 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi there, Pflint, thanks for your note! Your article will be reviewed in due time; there are currently 2,729 waiting to be reviewed. It may take a while before someone else gets to yours. (Reviewing your article before another review defeats the purpose of the review process.) If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. — kikichugirl oh hello! 04:45, 9 September 2015 (UTC)

04:49:53, 10 September 2015 review of submission by Hollenderek


Hollenderek (talk) 04:49, 10 September 2015 (UTC)


this is the link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Draft:Nisan_Katz

how this prson is not notable..there are links which clearly shows.then what else is required let me know.so that i may edit and resubmit it.— Preceding unsigned comment added by Hollenderek (talkcontribs) 05:49, 10 September 2015‎ (UTC)

Hollenderek, while he may be a notable individual, the draft does not demonstrate that fact. First, you've only given a two-sentence bio followed by what amounts to a resume of his work. Second, none of the references you have given actually talks about Kantz himself (and some of them call him by a different name - is this an alternate name or are you trying to slip something past us?). Notability is determined by how many independent reliable sources talk about the subject in detail, not just list him as the director of a film. Given that there is no significant coverage, there is no notability, and thus the draft was declined. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 18:32, 10 September 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

A cup of tea for you!

Just because. I dream of horses If you reply here, please ping me by adding {{Ping|I dream of horses}} to your message. (talk to me) (contributions) @ 06:11, 13 September 2015 (UTC)

01:02:55, 14 September 2015 review of submission by Ongaku ongaku


Hello, I have recently made the edits as you suggested and resubmitted the article [[3]] for rereview. Please let me know when we can have the draft published, and if we can change the article title to "Matthew Stevens (guitarist)" to "Matthew Stevens (musician)". Thanks! Ongaku ongaku (talk) 01:02, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Ongaku ongaku (talk) 01:02, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Ongaku ongaku, the draft will be reviewed in due time. There are over 600 drafts to be reviewed, so there is no guarantee of when it will be reviewed. However, the oldest articles are only 20 days old, so it's very likely that it will happen at some point over the next three weeks. As a note, I've moved the page to Draft:Matthew Stevens (musician). Primefac (talk) 02:33, 14 September 2015 (UTC) (talk page stalker)

Liga II

Can you help creating old seasons in Liga II. Thanks !--Alexiulian25 (talk) 07:46, 4 November 2015 (UTC)

Hello: Just a note that I have created a new user box for WikiProject Deletion sorting members, located at {{WikiProject Deletion sorting user box}}. Feel free to include it on your user pages if you'd like. Cheers, North America1000 09:59, 11 November 2015 (UTC)

Request on 01:32:51, 13 November 2015 for assistance on AfC submission by Josephmaroon


Hi, you recently reviewed and declined my submission of the page Joseph C. Maroon. The reason you gave was that it read more like an advertisement. While in previous versions I understood this feedback, I heavily revised the page and at this point, it is unclear to me what exactly it is that makes the text sound like an advertisement. In my choice of words, I have heavily relied on published wiki pages of other doctors/researchers and I am unclear how my page differs from these other, published pages. I'd really appreciate it if you could give me specifics, and if at all possible, suggestions on how to improve this contribution. Thank you very much.


Josephmaroon (talk) 01:32, 13 November 2015 (UTC)

Hi,
You appear to be eligible to vote in the current Arbitration Committee election. The Arbitration Committee is the panel of editors responsible for conducting the Wikipedia arbitration process. It has the authority to enact binding solutions for disputes between editors, primarily related to serious behavioural issues that the community has been unable to resolve. This includes the ability to impose site bans, topic bans, editing restrictions, and other measures needed to maintain our editing environment. The arbitration policy describes the Committee's roles and responsibilities in greater detail. If you wish to participate, you are welcome to review the candidates' statements and submit your choices on the voting page. For the Election committee, MediaWiki message delivery (talk) 14:29, 24 November 2015 (UTC)

Hi Kikichugirl,

How are you doing today? I trust you're fine. Could you please help with copy editing on the above article? Thanks. Wikigyt@lk to M£ 17:31, 26 November 2015 (UTC)

Draft Submission help

Hi, This is regarding the Article Draft:Akshay Agrawal which you recently rejected due to its non-neutrality and tone. I have made some changes and it should sound better now. Pl let me know if there is something specific youd like me to change. Thanks.

Agrawal.akshay98 (talk) 10:31, 7 December 2015 (UTC)

Hi, can you be more specific please and tell me an example from my text which is not written in the formal tone expected of an encyclopedia article? That will help greatly. Thanks. Cznal (talk) 20:22, 8 December 2015 (UTC)

Hi, Czna. Your article is still sort of promotional. There are some phrases that are not neutral and therefore should be replaced by something that is less flowery. If you want more help, stop by the Teahouse, Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. — kikichugirl oh hello! 04:14, 15 December 2015 (UTC)

Hi! Can you help me with this draft? This draft has been resubmitted and is currently awaiting re-review Thanks!--27century (talk) 07:50, 27 December 2015 (UTC)