User talk:Agallacinao/sandbox
Hello, Great work on evaluating your article. Can you please link your area and sector article selections to their original pages so that I may view them? Thanks -Momo Sumomox4nouchi (talk) 00:51, 8 February 2019 (UTC)sumomox4nouchi
Maddy Peer Review[edit]
I looked at the first section of drafting in your sandbox, FYI! I think your addition to the discrimination by law enforcement & the judicial system is good and helps clarify as to what was originally said. But, I would maybe reword it a little bit. For example, in the first sentence, I would maybe edit the last part to say "and thus these types of decisions can often be unstable." Furthermore, I would change loses to losses. Below you speak about adding a section regarding implicit bias in potential shootings between law enforcement and Blacks which would be useful upon expansion. Earlier in the section I would maybe move the "A 2007 paper.." section before the "A 2018 study in the American Journal of Public Health.." For the sector article I think the sentence, "Federal restrictions that exist include... federal financial aid for education," is awkward. I also believe the sentences regrading felony disenfranchisement could be condensed into like 2, or at least some of them could be combined. In your addition to the new paragraph I would clarify "formerly incarcerated persons" or something along those lines. I believe the latter half of that paragraph regarding "Ban the box" is missing a citation as well. Overall good additions and it's going in the right direction!