User:Jgrreed/sandbox

Friar Tim was a companion to Robin Hood in the legends about that character.

Relationship with Bride & Groom[edit]

Tim is a frequent visitor to No48. He often stops in with his donkey train where he collect various ingredients for the mead and poultices that he peddles up and down the Hwy 1 corridor between Grenfell and Pilot Butte. Tim's helpful nature and lack of interest in recipe following was initially viewed as negative, however recently Duke Jeremy has recognized his skill in bringing the lesser known brews to the people of the land.

Family Life[edit]

Friar Tim, although appearing to be in his 40's, is actually over 750 years of age. He currently resides with his 17th wife, to whom he is very committed and has raised 2 lovely daughters. Both daughters are currently awaiting appropriate Suitors from other lands, and Tim is awaiting his dowry.

It is believed that Tim has fathered over 110 children. Some link Friar Tim's legacy to Mary Queen of Scots, Lady Godiva, The Duggars, Helen Keller, Queen Jane the 4th of Estonia, and Martha Stewart.

Brewing Prowess[edit]

As mentioned above, Tim entered the No48 Brewery with past experience in what he termed "brewing". Tim's assertion that inflating the post boil specific gravity by adding table sugar was not looked upon fondly by administration, and earned him the moniker "the guy who adds shit at the end". This behavior has since waned, yet his desire to create more traditional and exotic beverages continues.

The mead available to you this evening was created by friar Tim himself. There was to be 50% more volume available to you this evening, however the friar's intern had a bit of an issue and broke the ceramic vessel the mead was to ferment in. He's gone now, to the oubliette.

Appearances in Popular Media[edit]

Tim has made several attempts at roles in various depcitions of Robin Hood. He described Great Big Sea's Allan Doyle as "that Mensch that took my part by kissing Russell Crowe's ass", after hearing Doyle took a role in the most recent blockbuster movie.

Friar Tim was a guest on Celebrity Jeopardy in the 2007 season of Lorne Michaels' Saturday Night Live. He was cast along side Devon Zerr in the role of Zac Brown, and Dave Reid in the role of Mr. Clean.

Illuminati Links[edit]

The Friar was, for a short time in the mid to late 1930's, rumored to be present at various Bohemian Grove functions where he rubbed elbows with Eisenhower, Roosevelt, and Melnychek.

In the wake of the 1980's Iran Contra Affair, the Friar was once seen at an IHOP with Oliver North, enjoying a quad stacker with a large side of "I can't believe it's not butter". This led many to believe that the US government and The Friar where plotting a broad based mind control strategy utilitizing fear mongering centering around hypertension and obesity.

Charitable and State Work within Canada[edit]

The Friar was asked to brew for John A. MacDonald at a Festivus celebration in 1842, and was a backup for Hal Johnson in Canada's fitness program. Fortunately Hal is an absolute beast, and not one time was on the DL.

Future Plans[edit]

Tim is seriously considering running for office. He is currently on set filming the next set of "Justin Trudeau: Just Not Ready" advertisements for the Federal Con-Artist party, and hopes his history of communist support in the early 1900's will give him the push he needs to win his spot as the leader of the National Weed party.

Tim has grown tired of immortality, and as such is a strong advocate for Physician assisted euthanasia. His previous self-attempts on his own life include guest appearances in Sigfried and Roy's Tiger show, 2 trips over Niagara Falls (both times in a No48 Keg), motocross racing, wrestling with Duke Jeremy, and what most consider his most foolish stunt - choosing to live in a locale that requires a daily round-trip through the Pilot Butte - Balgonie "corridor of death".