Template:Did you know nominations/Montgomery Industrial School for Girls
- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:01, 11 July 2017 (UTC)
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Montgomery Industrial School for Girls[edit]
Montgomery Industrial School for Girls, 1917
- ... that white reformist Northern women founded the Montgomery Industrial School for Girls (1886-1928) in Montgomery, Alabama, to educate black girls, which included Rosa Parks and Johnnie Carr? Source: [1]
5x expanded by Drmies (talk) and Mwilli95 (talk). Nominated by Drmies (talk) at 14:48, 13 June 2017 (UTC).
Article is newly expanded, on 13 June, from 607 characters to 3230 characters of readable prose. The major claims are supported by the entry at Encyclopedia of Alabama. Picture is good, though perhaps could be improved by deleting the original caption. QPQ is done. There are a few points in the hook and the article which I would like to check with you about before approving the nomination.
- . It might not be appropriate to call the school's founders "abolitionists"—though they may have been at some point, and may have considered themselves such when founding the school—since abolitionism in the US conventionally refers to the antebellum period. The Encyclopedia of Alabama does not mention abolitionism.
- Another slightly awkward point about this hook is that the founders did not specifically have Parks and Carr in mind when they founded the school. It's not that the hook is wrong but it does have a strange disjointedness in time in suggesting that abolitionists were educating Rosa Parks. You might consider writing a new hook altogether.
- Are you sure that White and Beard founded the previous school in Quitman, Georgia? E of A (the source at the end of the relevant paragraph) only says that they worked there.
- In the next paragraph it would be very nice if you could re-word a little bit to clarify that Carr was friends with Parks and that's who she's talking about in the quotation.
- The "Notable Alumni" list (which possibly should be Notable Alumnae) may not be necessary to include when both notable alumnae are already mentioned in the article. However I'll leave this up to you.
- I hope that over time more sources will be found to improve this article but you have certainly brought it up to the DYK standard. Thank you for contributing this valuable and interesting information! groupuscule (talk) 01:31, 17 June 2017 (UTC)
- Nominator Drmies is also to be praised for rescuing a student submission and crediting the student author in the nomination. groupuscule (talk) 05:21, 21 June 2017 (UTC)
- groupuscule, I'm on it. Please note minor tweak to hook. Drmies (talk) 13:42, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
- OK check it out now--thanks for your valuable notes; clearly I should have proofread this better. Want a fun fact, Groupscule? My friend's office (he works for the public school system) is on the very site of the school. Thanks again, Drmies (talk) 13:49, 25 June 2017 (UTC)
- That's very cool; I wonder if he can photograph some interesting relic. The article looks good (or will once you finish wikilinking "[[American South|South"; but take your time ;-) ). With respect to comment #1, which you addressed in the article itself, may I suggest in the hook replacing "abolitionist" with "reformist", "Christian", "antiracist", something else, or nothing? groupuscule (talk) 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
- Sorry, I missed that one, groupuscule. As for the brackets, don't be afraid the copyedit articles you're reviewing! Drmies (talk) 15:01, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
- That's very cool; I wonder if he can photograph some interesting relic. The article looks good (or will once you finish wikilinking "[[American South|South"; but take your time ;-) ). With respect to comment #1, which you addressed in the article itself, may I suggest in the hook replacing "abolitionist" with "reformist", "Christian", "antiracist", something else, or nothing? groupuscule (talk) 04:00, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
Approved; nicely done. Thanks for the tip about article editing. Somewhere I think I wrongly got the impression that there is wall of thick plexiglass between the reviewer and the reviewed article. Maybe this was to do with not having edited the article before you start reviewing it. Anyway, groupuscule (talk) 16:01, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
