Talk:Markus Rosenberg/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 06:44, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

I'll pick this one up, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 06:44, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

Lead

• "Swedish former footballer" > Swedish former professional footballer
• "in Allsvenskan club Malmö FF", in doesn't work here, should be with.
• Put "scoring 6 goals" in commas.
• Refs are generally unnecessary in the lead if the information is sourced in the body, so refs 3, 4 and 5 don't really need to be there.

Malmö FF

• "he earned a nickname "Sillen"", the construction of the sentence means the would work better than "a". Also, as a foreign language nickname, we could do with a rough translation.
• "resulting in him being placed on the substitute bench, as well as, his own injury concern", sentence is a little jumbled with double comma breaks. I think this could be phrased better.
• End of the second paragraph is unsourced.
• "He finished the 2002 season with 13 appearances in all competitions", again paragraph ends unsourced. A basic stats reference would cover these.
• "in the opening match of the season, in a 2–0 win against Örebro", second "in" could be dropped here.
• Refs should be listed in numerical order.
• "to be overshadowed with the likes of Skoog, Ijeh and Andreas Yngvesson" > overshadowed by the likes...
• Link the first mention of UEFA Cup.
• "Until the end of the 2003 season, Rosenberg went on to make 21 appearances scoring five times in all competitions", the "until the end, phrase doesn't really work with the summary I would say.
• "After his loan spell at Halmstads BK ended", what loan spell? There's no mention of this previously?
• " season and started the whole game", can't really start the whole game.
• Link Afonso Alves.

Loan to Halmstads BK

• I can see why you've put this in its own section, but it's making the timeline a little odd.
• Afonso Alves is linked here but mentioned previously, link the first mention.
• Link hat-trick.

Ajax

• The picture caption is not a complete sentence so doesn't require a period.
• "a multi-million contract", include the currency that's mentioned here.
• The ref here (96) doesn't seem to make any mention of the club underachieving?
• "the newly born Eredivisie play-offs", born isn't the right word here.
• Second image caption isn't a complete sentence either.
• "started the whole game", again the phrase started a whole game doesn't really make sense.
• End of the last paragraph is unsourced.

Werder Bremen

• "keeping him until 2011", this reads a little informal.
• "On the last game of the season" > in the last game...

2007–08 season

• dipped > dip
• "in a 8–1 thriller against Arminia Bielefeld", an should be used here rather than a. Also, thriller is too journalistic and I wonder how much of a thriller it could have been in such a lopsided scoreline.
• "ahead of Diego with thirteen goals" > 13 goals. Maintain consistency with similar figures in close succession. Same with the eighteen directly after this.
• This last section is also unsourced.

2008–09 season

• Link Hugo Almeida.
• "Despite the injury he sustained", what injury?

2009–10 season

• "suffered a knee injury that kept him out of action with a knee problems", sentence is kind of repeating itself here.
• "Due to strong competitions" > competition

Loan to Racing Santander

• "came on as a 64th minutes", should be minute and I'm assuming substitute is missing from the end?
• "for a picking two cards", doesn't make sense.
• "served a one-match ban.[192][193] After serving a one-match ban", repetition.
• "to continue to be playing in Europe for a couple of years", sentence is quite clunky.

2011–12 season

• "following a loan spell at Racing de Santander", as we've already had his loan spell I would change this to "his" loan spell. No need to repeat the link for Santander either.
• "At the end of the 2011–12 season, he made 34 appearances scoring 11 times in all competitions", I know what you're saying but the wording implies that all these appearances and goals came at the end of the season. This could be reworded, plus no source.
• "Because of his aerial ability and his strength, Rosenberg was considered a dangerous header of the ball, but he is also dangerous when having the ball at his feet", It's generally not a good idea to start a sentence with because and this sentence needs some attribution. Right now it sounds more like you saying that rather than a source.
• Last part of this section is unsourced.
• Hugo Almeida is linked here but mentioned previously.

West Bromwich Albion

• Not a fan of these one or two sentence opening paragraphs that are used in some sections.

References

• Avoid shouting in ref titles, per WP:ALLCAPS.

Unfortunately, I'm failing this from the outset. I've gone through the first half of the article and picked out these points. These are not major issues, but it gives you an idea of the minor fixes that need addressing. However, there are some major issues that have resulted in me failing this that are too large to fix in a single GA review.

• There are far too many references here, nearly 450 for an article of only 35kb prose is very excessive. An example of the issue: the phrase "he went on to score five consecutive goals between 15 January 2006 and 8 February 2006" is supported by five refs of match results. Using a statistical database such as Soccerway or similar would be much more efficient. This sort of oversourcing is prevalent throughout. Generally speaking, an article of this size should be maxing out between 100-150 refs.
• There is probably too much material of questionable notability here. For example, the Santander section has sentences such as "He then scored his fifth goal for the club, in a 3–1 loss against CA Osasuna on 13 March 2011" and "He then scored his ninth goal for the club, scoring in a 2–1 win against Atlético Madrid on 10 May 2011". Why are these goals notable moments in his career?
• The article could do with a good copyedit also, there are quite a few instances of broken sentences and grammar errors dotted throughout.
• There are several paragraphs that end with a statistical summary of his seasons that have no sources. This problem could be solved by the database suggestion of the first point also. Kosack (talk) 12:03, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

Thanks, @Kosack:. I fixed a bunch of the smaller issues you listed. Over to you, @BarryHero:. Robby.is.on (talk) 13:13, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

Wow, thanks for checking @Kosack: and @Robby.is.on:. I didn't realize that there were so many issues with this article. BarryHero (talk) 13:26, 8 August 2020 (UTC)

There's probably less than it seems looking above, you've got the basics of a good article there. The over sourcing can be solved if you can find a way to condense them with a more wide ranging set of references. While the copyediting and non-notable goals issues are easy enough to fix if you have the time and inclination. Kosack (talk) 15:33, 8 August 2020 (UTC)