Talk:Life in Great Britain during the Industrial Revolution

Essay

This reads like an stupid essay. Once this stupid article is improved, then the stupid template can be removed. Thelb⁴ 07:21, 1 January 2009 (UTC)

How were my changes?

Dear editors of Wikipedia,

I am a college student who is majoring in History, I took a number of course that involved around the time of the Industrial Revolution. I tried my best to give a proper sense of the life for the average factory worker (which is impossible to give an exact representation of the life of all the workers). I hope I also tried to not to write it as a essay, which is hard for me, when I am writing this for class project. I hope with your help editors, that we can change this article to remove the essay style.

Please do the necessary changes to make this article the best it can. Leave comments for me to understand where I went wrong.

-Scoobie193 — Preceding unsigned comment added by Scoobie193 (talk • contribs) 15:19, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

External links modified

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• Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20140404023326/http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/IRdeformities.htm to http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/IRdeformities.htm

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Some thoughts of how this article could possibly be improved

Hi Wikipedians: I am a student who is doing the course which is about editing Wikipedia, and here are some of my thoughts on how this article could be improved.

Verification: More citations could be included in this article, especially with important statements and statistics. For example, in the second paragraph of the introduction, the book or journal, or article from which the information about the industrial belt in Great Britain is collected could be cited and added to the reference list. Also, in the fifth paragraph, the percentage of workers under the age of 13 or between 13 and 18 needs to be provided with a citation to be verifiable. In the lead section of "Life affected from working conditions", the sentence "Traditionally, women and girls were in charge of cleaning the house, but since women were spending just as much time working as the men, they had no time for such duties." could be improved by giving the source. To be more specific, the source which stated that it is a tradition that "women and girls were in charge of cleaning" and their working time was equivalent to men's need to be cited for verification.

Neutrality: This article focuses solely on child laborers' life and working conditions during the Industrial Revolution. To improve neutrality, a possible way could be providing information about other communities' lives during this time. For example, information about lives that adult laborers or factory owners had during this time could be integrated into this article. Also, paraphrasing some disputatious sentences is needed for neutrality, as this way could lessen bias. For example, "Young children were worked to near exhaustion, as was evident from those who fell asleep over their machines" could be changed to "Young laborers had high workload".