Talk:Daisy (advertisement)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk · contribs) 14:23, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
Nominator: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) at 18:24, 11 August 2021 (UTC)

Alright, this one looks quite good in most places. Comments coming soon. ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 14:23, 26 August 2021 (UTC)

Copyvio

• Y Literally just quotes and place names, so no copyvio here.

Stability

• Y The page itself seems stable enough, with no recent edit wars or controversies. Same for the talk page.

Prose / MoS

• N Overall a lot of typos here a grammar issues here. These are the ones I picked out, but the page could really use some dedicated copy-editing to make things run smoother.
  • First para of lede, "referred as" -> "referred to as", "factor" -> "factors", "a limited support" -> "limited support"
  • Third para of lede, "various times, and" -> "various times and", "referring him by name" -> "referring to him by name"
  • First para of Background of creation, "indirectly, and" -> "indirectly and", "only a limited support" -> "only limited support", "the pledge of allegiance, until" -> "the pledge of allegiance until"
  • Second para of Background of creation, "Prior to" -> "Before", "mid June" -> "mid-June", "The nuclear weapons" -> "Nuclear weapons", "central issue" -> "central issues"
  • Synopsis, "she skips some numbers, and counts some twice" -> "she skips some number and counts some twice"
  • First para of Broadcast and impact, "this ad" -> "the ad", "striking images" -> "striking imagery", "sudden change" -> "sudden changes", "in increased" -> "is increased", "echoes W. H. Auden's poem "September 1, 1939" in which line 88 reads, "We must love one another or die."" -> "echoes line 88 of W.H. Auden's poem "September 1, 1939", which reads "We must love one another or die.""
  • Second para of Broadcast and impact, "Bill Moyers remembers" -> "Johnson's private assistant Bill Moyers remembers", "called him and said" -> "called him and asked,", "was objected by" -> "was objected to by", "and on conversation programs various times," -> "and conversation programs various times", "was replayed and analyzed endlessly" -> "was frequently replayed and analyzed", "was putting a "panic inspired falsehoods" on the television" -> "was putting "panic inspired falsehoods" on the television", "referred as" -> "referred to as", "commercial" -> "commercials", "The exact number of viewership of the commercial is unknown, but Robert Mann, the author of the book Daisy Petals and Mushroom Clouds estimates that about hundred million people saw it." -> "Whilst the exact viewership of the commercial is unknown, the author of the book Daisy Petals and Mushroom Clouds Robert Mann estimates that about a hundred million people saw it."
  • Third para of Broadcast and impact, "But just a few days later," -> "A few days later," (how many?), "related by a young girl eating ice-cream" -> "related by a young girl eating ice cream to the audience", "margins of popular vote" -> "margins of the popular vote"
    • @ExcellentWheatFarmer – For the point related to number of days, I am not able to find exact number of days or date of it's release. In that case, I guess "A few days later" should work. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:35, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
      • @Kavyansh.Singh – I tried looking for it myself but I couldn't find anything either, so that should work just fine! – ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 16:37, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
  • First para of Later usage and impact, "multiple political broadcasts since" -> "multiple political broadcasts since being shown", "His advertisements" -> "Mondale's advertisements"
  • Second para of Later usage and impact, "until the 2000s, when" -> "until the 2000s when"
    •  Done @ExcellentWheatFarmer – I very much appreciate your review. I have tried to resolve all concerns about the prose listed here in this edit. Feel free to let me know of any other changes required. Thanks a lot. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 07:20, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

Referencing

Y The page is heavily referenced and all of them seem to be reliable.

POV

Y The page isn't clearly biased towards Goldwater or Johnson, and sticks to coverage of the advertisement and its cultural impact.

Orginal Research

Y No original research to be found here.

Focus / scope / coverage / completeness

Y The page reads quite well and covers all the main details of the ad well, feeling pretty complete.

Media

Y Only three pieces of media are used here, and they are all available to use.

Conclusion

Overall, I'd say this article is GA standard, aside from the listed MOS and Grammar edits. However, as they've already been done, I'd be happy to pass this. Any further comments @Kavyansh.Singh? ExcellentWheatFarmer (talk) 16:45, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

@ExcellentWheatFarmer – Sure, I'd be delighted if you can pass this article today, as coincidentally, today is Lyndon B Johnson's 113th Birth anniversary! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 22:12, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.