Talk:Celebration of Mexican political anniversaries in 2010

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comments[edit]

  • When I am reviewing articles, I always start at the bottom section and read it in reverse order. One reason for that is that people tend to get tired by the time they reach the bottom, and they make more mistakes.
  • There are several errors in the notes. Look at the bottom of the page for words that are red. For example, look at note #26, which says "Template:Cite web rotativo.com.mx". That isn't correct.
  • Look at the article's history. I made an edit to one of the notes here. That should show you how to fix the problems with the notes.
  • Go back through and read it very carefully for grammar and vocabulary errors: "where" instead of "were", etc.
  • The "Events of 15 and 16 September 2010" has an empty section titled "Mexico City". Leaving an entire section empty for everyone to see isn't the proper way to do it. I removed a second-level header titled "Other parts of the country" because it is unnecessary/redundant; of course the North and South are "Other parts of the country."
  • What's the difference between "Preparations at the national level" and "Preparations by federal entity"?
  • You should be very, very, very carefull about copying your sources too closely! For example, some of the sections have copied the tone and details of the source too closely, making the result look like a news article rather than an encyclopedia article. Encyclopedia articles should have a more formal (less conversational) tone than news articles, and should only include the most important information. For example, look at this:

Despite the rain, in Merida, Yucatan people assisted to the "Monumento a la Patria" to celebrate Mexico’s Bicentennial. The famous singer Juan Gabriel was the attraction of the night, interpreting his most famous songs. The civil- military parade started at 8:00am in the “Plaza Principal” of the city. The army, air force, Armada de Mexico, students, and firefighters were part of the parade that fascinated the families present in this event.

  • Ten years from now, no one will care that it was raining when the "Monumento a la Patria" began; they also won't care that it started at 8:00am, or that the event "fascinated the families present." These are trivial details that are fine for a news story, but irrelevant to an encyclopedia article. You shouldn't be a news reporter presenting every detail; you should be a scholar presenting only the truly important information.• Ling.Nut 00:07, 14 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

More Comments[edit]

All in all, quite well written and presented. [User:Ling Nut] has some good pointers but here are a few I believe he missed. I'm not going to do any editing at this point as you only asked for feedback and I believe you should be able to present it as you see fit before letting the dogs loose. A few minor thing stick out (at least to me).

  • Sections 2 & 3 (Preparations...) can be combined into one section (2. Preparations) with subsections (2.1 National; 2.2 State).
  • Section 4 title is a bit lengthy. You have already introduced the topic stating that the celebrations are the Bicentennial / Centenary so this title can be shortened just to 4. Projects.
    • It may be an idea to separate the projects into those for Bicentennial, those for Centenary and those that're joint projects.
  • Unless you mean to fill in the El Grito Section (1.1), then it should be removed along with the subtitle 1.2 20 November. The section header will suffice.
  • 5.Events of 15 and 16 September 2010 is a bit ambiguous for a section title, it doesn't really say much about the section content. Something like Celebration events or Celebrations could be better, following with a short intro stating that the events took place on 15th & 16th September.
  • While the article is well referenced, the majority of your references are in Spanish. It is good that you have translated the ref links, but this is the English Wiki and most references should be in English if you can find them. I would think for an article on this subject about half and half would be about right. You have followed the guidelines, but the majority of people using the English Wikipedia do not speak Spanish (or, like myself, only speak a little), so it's more of an ease of use issue than anything else.


Thank you for your observations :-D I would like to do one myself regarding yours about references. They are all or almost all in Spanish because those events took place in Mexico and we live in here. Therefore, all information we could find was in Spanish. Actually, the point on doing this article as a project in Wikipedia was that there were almost no sources about Bicentennial Celebrations in English or were not as accurate as those from national ones. Maybe eventually more information from English sources will appear. Thank you once again :-D Papita Naranja (talk) 22:47, 14 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]


Remember, these are just my opinions, the way that I'd do things.

We each have our own styles and, so long as we follow the basic guidelines, we are free to present our material in whichever way we choose.

Ignore everything I've said if you want or don't agree with it

.

Keep it up.

If I can be of any more assistance then please feel free to contact me.Angry Mustelid (talk) 20:19, 14 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Even more comments.[edit]

[User:Ling Nut] starts off with a few good pointers but then starts delving into current affairs. These need reviewing and deleting as applicable. Anything relevent to the article (i.e. the preps, celbrations, direct aftermath) and not the current happenings which can trace their roots back to the Iceland banks and US Insurance companies.Angry Mustelid (talk) 01:37, 16 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Comments about numbers[edit]

Whenever facts are stated involving numbers, especially numbers involving of people, a citation should be given where the number can be found. If 1,000,000 people attended a parade, the sentence that states that fact needs to have a citation following it.

Numbers must also make sense. In the section about the Military parade, a sentence says:

"In the presence of Felipe Calderón Hinojosa, president of Mexico, the military parade began with the free fall of 17 paratroopers, 12 from the Navy and 15 from the army"

If 17 paratroopers landed, how were 12 of them from the Navy and 15 of them from the Army? 12+15=27 not 17. A source needs to be found that gives the correct number or clarifies the information. --nsaum75¡שיחת!‎ 03:10, 16 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

moving on...[edit]

Ok, I was just asking because I thought it was a good idea to complete the information of last article but. We have finish our part of cultural events on the bicentennial article and we are working on Alpura article. Greetings —Preceding unsigned comment added by MarioAlvarez05 (talk • contribs) 22:26, 17 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Historical Error[edit]

I'm sorry by my english, I'm an mexican reader and I get in the article today and saw an error; in November 20, 1910 was Francisco I. Madero who started the Revolution no Francisco Villa, Villa joined to the fight after the death of Madero even Pascual Orozco no be part of the war until the last steps of the same, please make better your investigation about history of other countries. If you don't believe me please read the Wikipedia in Spanish in the article title "Revolución Mexicana" or in a elementary school textbook of México Greetings 

— Preceding unsigned comment added by 201.161.215.137 (talk) 03:53, 11 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

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