Talk:Battle of Trenton/GA1

GA Review[edit]

This article does not meet the Good Article criteria and has therefore failed. Issues include:

Second and third paragraph of " Background" is unreferenced
First and second paragraph of "Hessian Moves" is unreferenced
Second paragraph of "The Crossing and March" is unreferenced
First and fourth paragraph of "The Battle" is unreferenced
First paragraph of " Aftermath" is unreferenced
Entire " Legacy" section is unreferenced
References are not formatted according to WP:CITE/ES.
Bullet points needed for "See also"
" References" should be in alphabetical order by last name

Once these issues have been resolved, please renominate the article. Gary King (talk) 17:57, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

References still need to be formatted per WP:CITE/ES. Gary King (talk) 19:31, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, please keep future messages here so everything is in one spot :) Anyways, the required components of every URL reference is title, URL, publisher, and access date. {{cite web}} can help with this so you don't have to type out all of the formatting by hand. Gary King (talk) 23:14, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

After some slow, and painful work, I believe I have done everything. Red4tribe (talk) 00:40, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, sorry, but all references also require a publisher (by using the "publisher" field in {{cite web}} if you are using that template). Gary King (talk) 00:43, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, there it is. Red4tribe (talk) 01:59, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The first reference does not work for me. Publishers are never "none" – they are typically the publishing website. Please take a look at an article at WP:FA2008 to see how references are typically formatted if you'd like to see. Gary King (talk) 02:04, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I believe that is it. Red4tribe (talk) 02:43, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Okay.

Please unify the page number references. "Fischer p.538" – p. is used but "Brooks, Hohwald (1999) pg.56" – pg. is used. Choose one and go with that.
"up,"." – remove the comma
"west. [7] A third" → "west.[7] A third" – remove the spaces before footnotes per WP:FN

Gary King (talk) 02:49, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That is all done. Red4tribe (talk) 04:00, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Footnotes still have spaces before them when they shouldn't. Gary King (talk) 04:03, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I misread what you said, but I believe I have everything now.Red4tribe (talk) 04:50, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"up"." → "up."" – move the punctuation per WP:PUNC
Several references are used multiple times. Use reference names (WP:REFNAME) to merge them together.
"See also" section goes before "Footnotes" per WP:LAYOUT
I suggest adding a reference to the end of every paragraph so I can see that everything is clearly referenced.

Gary King (talk) 05:01, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok done. Red4tribe (talk) 19:35, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, great!

Could the lead be expanded to better summarize the entire article, per WP:LEAD?
up."" – has double quotes at the end
"doubts, he wrote" – disconnected sentences here; either use a semicolon or a period

Gary King (talk) 19:41, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, I did that as well.Red4tribe (talk) 20:02, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"school schild in the"
"to this day" – try to avoid dated terms. Probably best to remove this.
link dates like "December 23" if dates are to be linked in this article; be consistent, per WP:DATE.
for times like "y 12 AM[16] until 3 AM, and", use the 12:00 a.m. format per WP:DATE.

Gary King (talk) 20:23, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I got everything. Red4tribe (talk) 20:36, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"The Battle's legacy lives on, as almost any school child in the United States could tell you about Washington's victory." – doesn't seem very encyclopedic, especially "could tell you", since this isn't really a narration
"this crucial American victory." – crucial seems a bit POV, perhaps remove that one word
"Prior to the battle, American morale was at an all time low." – "all-time", and that also doesn't seem very encyclopedic. Was it proven that their morale was at all "all-time low"?
I think generally the entire article needs its prose reworked.

Gary King (talk) 20:49, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

i would move the boat talk up to crossing section - Durham boat
add something about the marblehead regiment 114th Continental Regiment
'victory or death' is from cato Joseph Addison
i would incorporate the myth in the body as fact with explanation

Pohick2 (talk) 19:25, 26 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]