Talk:Ana Lucia Cortez/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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All in all a good article, however I will be placing it on hold for some issues to be resolved:

lead: "Ana Lucia becomes the leader of the tail section". I know what this means, but for someone who has never seen the show, they will be probably thinking, "isn't Jack the leader?". So maybe add some stuff about how the survivors were split into two groups to clarify that up.
lead: "Ana Lucia was negatively received, due to her hostility and bullying. Many critics were pleased when the character was killed." It might be better if you merged the two sentences.
arc: "Flashbacks in "Collision" show Ana Lucia's life before crashing on the Island." Already stated in lead. You could probably just remove the whole sentence.
arc: "In her second centric episode, "Two for the Road", flashbacks show that she leaves the force and eventually finds work as an airport security guard." Same with this sentence. Maybe change it to: "Ana Lucia decides (or resigns?) to leave the force and eventually..."
arc: "That night, some of the survivors are kidnapped by the Others." Although it is linked, it should be explained who/what the Others are.
personality: "Ana Lucia was described by Melanie McFarland of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer as "demanding", "hostile" and a "bully".[12] She goes on to call..." Change in tenses. Probably best to stick to past tense for this section.
development: unlink Michelle Rod.
"On 1 December 2005, Rodriguez got a DUI." It's an American show, so change it to December 1. Also, "got a DUI" doesn't make sense and is a bit informal.
"prompting speculation that this was why she was killed off". Put a full stop after "off".
"which the producers denied.[18] They stated that their plans". Now change this to: "The producers denied the claims, and stated that that their..."
"Complicating the matter". This could be seen as OR, so it would probably be best if you remove it.
"Ana Lucia's death was second in IGN's top ten Lost deaths" Would "IGN's list of top ten..." be better?
"as made an "immediate impact". I'm guessing it's a typo.
Again, unlink Michelle.

References:

TV Squad does not require italics.
"Official Lost Podcast November 21, 2005." Could an audio version be found online?
Fox News does not require italics.
Zap2it, SyFy Portal and IGN do not need italics.

Other than those issues, the article is looking very good. If you have any issues or questions about any of my comments, please leave a reply here. Good luck, Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 10:53, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think I have addressed all these issues now. The ABC website doesn't keep the old podcasts unfortunately as far as I can tell, the best i could find was http://www.dharmasecrets.com/podcast/Lostpodcast_03rev_direct.mp3 but I'm presuming that's not reliable enough since it's not official? Sanders11 (talk) 15:02, 23 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, almost done. I went through the article and gave it a minor copyedit, but there are a few things that need clearing up:

"The pair arrange to get together during the flight." Needs clarifying. Are they going just get together, talk or hook up?
ABC News should not be ~~linked~~ italicized.
"She is buried the next day." Stubby sentence. Either merge it into one of the previous sentences, or add some info about her burial, e.g. did anyone say any words?
Try to model the podcast reference after the one here: Martin Keamy. If an online version cannot be found, just use the dharma one, I think it's okay. Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 05:45, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done all of that now, anything else? Sanders11 (talk) 12:46, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well done on fixing all the requirements. I am happy to pass the article. Corn.u.co.pia / Disc.us.sion 12:53, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! Sanders11 (talk) 13:43, 24 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]