Talk:Alexios V Doukas/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 10:56, 28 October 2018 (UTC)
Could you check that you are ok with my light copy edit. Thanks.
Images.
- The first one is fine. the other two are a bit uninspiring. How about one of the first two paintings from Sack of Constantinople (1204)?
- The second does illustrate something directly mentioned in the text - the third image is small, but it does show the emperor's eyebrows meeting! An additional image is fine with me.
- Your call. It's not a fail issue and it's your GAN.
- The second does illustrate something directly mentioned in the text - the third image is small, but it does show the emperor's eyebrows meeting! An additional image is fine with me.
Sources
- Head. Is there really a journal called Byzantion, or is that a typo?
- Yes and no.
- Well, well.
- Yes and no.
Prose
- Could you explain what a protovestiarios was. Eg '... Protovestiarios (the senior-most financial official)...' or similar.
- It is linked, but I have added a bracketed explanation.
- "The Westerners rioted and set fires" Are the "Westerners" the crusaders? If so you need to either state that or, more easy, simply replace it with 'crusaders'. And why the upper case W?
- Done
- "The Constantinopolitan populace" Nice, but WP:PEACOCK. Could you rephrase.
- Done - party-pooper - I once got the word 'involute' into a published scientific paper, I was inordinately pleased!
- "when bribing the palace guards". Are these bribed guards the same as those in "to bribe the "ax-bearers" (the Varangian Guard)"? If so, how is a reader to know? (To be clear, I know, but a casual reader would, IMO, not.)
- Done
- "but was extracted and killed". Could you find a better word than "extracted"?
- Defenestrated?? Done and a bit of detail added
- That's good. (Defenestrations of Prague is only start class if you want to amuse yourself. I like the idea of someone being defenestrated from the Hagia Sophia mind
.)
- Alexios V also died after a long drop. I'm tempted to create a neologism for 'death by falling off a column' - based on Greek of course - "pephtostyled" - it could catch on ;)
- That's good. (Defenestrations of Prague is only start class if you want to amuse yourself. I like the idea of someone being defenestrated from the Hagia Sophia mind
- Defenestrated?? Done and a bit of detail added
More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:33, 28 October 2018 (UTC)
- "and strengthened the defending fortifications". Redundancy. You nee to say either 'and strengthened the fortifications' or 'and strengthened the defences.'
- Done
- Isaac II and Alexios IV are introduced early on ("By the beginning of 1204, Isaac II and Alexios IV had inspired little confidence"), but their relationship is not revealed until quite a bit later, and then in passing (The young Alexios IV was eventually strangled in prison; while his father Isaac). Could this be explained at first mention.
- It is pointed out in an earlier paragraph (1st para. of "Political intrigues and usurpation") - but I've added that Alexios III was Isaac II's brother, nice that - briefly - there were three emperors called Alexios all alive.
- So it is, so it is. A terrible thing, old age.
@Urselius: That all looks good. I am a bit rushed right now, but hopefully will be able to have a final check this evening. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:15, 29 October 2018 (UTC)
- @Urselius: I have made a couple of edits which you may want to check. Note that page ranges in references, like any other number ranges, should be separated by en dashes, not hyphens. I have changed them in this article.
- A fine article you have there. I am more than happy that it meets the GA standards and am promoting it. Congratulations, good work. Gog the Mild (talk) 21:04, 29 October 2018 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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