Lilia Tarawa

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Lilia Tarawa
Tarawa in 2019
Born (1990-10-24) October 24, 1990 (age 33)[1]
Gloriavale Christian Community, West Coast, New Zealand[2]
Years active2017–present
Notable workDaughter of Gloriavale (book)
I grew up in a cult. It was heaven – and hell. (TEDx Talk)
Websitehttps://www.liliatarawa.com/

Lilia Tarawa is a New Zealand speaker, author, entrepreneur, and influencer. Tarawa grew up in the Gloriavale Christian Community on New Zealand's West Coast, but left the community with her parents and siblings in 2009.[3] In 2017 Tarawa published her bestselling book Daughter of Gloriavale[4][5] and gave the viral TEDx talk: I grew up in a cult. It was heaven – and hell.

Biography[edit]

For the first 18 years of her life, Tarawa lived in the Gloriavale Christian Community.[6] Tarawa said she felt "brainwashed" but struggled with the restrictions placed on her.[7][8][9]

At 16 years old, Lilia made a vow to her grandfather Neville Cooper during a commitment ceremony, promising she would submit to men,[10] look after the home and remain "meek", "modest" and "pure". She renounced adultery, divorce, birth control, and abortion.[11] Tarawa also vowed to marry whichever man the community's leaders chose and clean, cook, and sew for the community of around 500 people.[12] Tarawa vowed to disown and condemn anyone who was not a believer.[13]

Tarawa witnessed other children she was friends with being beaten for bad behaviour, because according to Tarawa, "old-fashioned corporal punishment was encouraged".[14][better source needed] Neville Cooper, the leader of Gloriavale, believed women were ready for marriage and sex when they began their menstrual cycle.[15][16] Tarawa says it was only the New Zealand marriage laws which stopped marriages before the age of 16. Tarawa says Cooper "would have happily married off children of 10 or 12 years" if the law allowed it.[17] At 18 years old, two incidents altered her perspective on Gloriavale. These included witnessing a young boy being violently punished with a leather belt. Another was her best friend being told she had to marry an Indian boy she had never met because Gloriavale planned to open a chapter in India.[18]

Although Tarawa never witnessed sexual abuse, her parents grew uncomfortable because of arranged marriages and families being separated when some members chose to leave the Gloriavale community.[19] Tarawa explained even when Cooper was found guilty of sexual assault, Cooper was held in high regard and gave religious instruction from prison. Tarawa said most families living in Gloriavale were unaware of their leader's sex abuse conviction and believed he was jailed for preaching the gospel.[20]

In 2009, Tarawa and her family, including her father Perry, her pregnant mother Miracle, and her six younger siblings left Gloriavale with all their possessions in a van. They joined Tarawa's three other siblings, Sara, Sam, and Victor, who had escaped Gloriavale as teenagers. When Tarawa's siblings ran away, her parents were told they were sinners who should be dead to them.[19] Tarawa believed for years leaving Gloriavale meant she would go to hell.[21]

Since leaving, Tarawa has run her own small business.[22] Tarawa has designed websites for friends and family. Tarawa also had management roles for her parents' plumbing, drainage and electrical business.[23]

In 2017, eight years after leaving Gloriavale, Tarawa's six younger siblings still lived at home with their parents in Canterbury. Her siblings were involved in kapa haka and basketball.[19] Tarawa planned on learning about her whakapapa. Tarawa says she was discouraged from identifying as Māori but she has since changed her views. Tarawa noted that her taua, as well as reconnecting with her grandmother and a few of her Māori family outside of Gloriavale, has allowed her to explore more of her Māori heritage. She said "I'd like to learn more about our culture in general. Like, what are we passionate about? And what iwi are out there, because I know that I'm Ngāi Tahu, but I don't know a lot about other iwi."[24] Tarawa now speaks out about female repression within the church.[25]

Tarawa said she heard that "everything got stricter" after her family left Gloriavale.[26] She noted that it was uncommon "for a whole family to leave together", whereas typically the community may see "one or two people running away in the middle of the night, backpack on their shoulders."[26]

1 News filmed a segment on Tarawa called Finding Lilia.[27] Tarawa describes trying to reprogramme her mind after a lifetime of propaganda at Gloriavale.[28]

Lilia Tarawa at TEDxChristchurch, 2017

In 2017, Tarawa published the autobiography Daughter of Gloriavale: My Life in a Religious Cult about her experiences in Gloriavale.[29] This was one of New Zealand's most successful books in 2017.[30] Daughter of Gloriavale was one of the most popular eBooks borrowed from the Christchurch City Libraries during the COVID-19 lockdown.[31] Tarawa also spoke in 2017 at the TEDxChristchurch conference about her experiences in a talk called I grew up in a cult. It was heaven – and hell. As of April 2021, the video has over 12 million views.[32][better source needed]

In 2019, former Gloriavale member Jeremy Max died in a motorcycle crash in Milford. Tarawa spoke about the death of her "beautiful relative".[33][34]

Personal life[edit]

Tarawa lives in Christchurch, New Zealand.[35][36] She is the granddaughter of the Australian-born founder of Gloriavale, Hopeful Christian (formerly known as Neville Cooper),[37][38][39] and has 9 siblings.[40] She is part of the Māori tribe Ngāi Tahu.

Tarawa considers herself agnostic and says she has a "science-based worldview".[2]

Work[edit]

  • Tarawa, Lilia (2017). Daughter of Gloriavale : My life in a Religious Cult. Sydney: Allen & Unwin. ISBN 978-1-76063-918-1. OCLC 1002697888.
  • Tarawa, Lilia (16 November 2017). "I grew up in a cult. It was heaven -- and hell" (YouTube Video). TEDxTalks (Christchurch).

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. ^ Tarawa, Lilia (2019). "Four: Pioneering Baby". Daughter of Gloriavale : my life in a religious cult. ISBN 978-1-4434-5905-1. OCLC 1091121327.
  2. ^ a b Tarawa, Lilia. "Who I Am ● Lilia Tarawa". Lilia Tarawa. Archived from the original on 7 April 2021. Retrieved 7 April 2021.
  3. ^ "Life after escaping Gloriavale". NewstalkZB. 29 August 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  4. ^ Tarawa, Lilia (29 August 2017). "My life in a religious cult: 'The most dangerous place in the world is the womb of an ungodly woman'". The Guardian. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  5. ^ "Word Christchurch festival 2018: four adventurous women talk about their lives". RNZ. 2 June 2019. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  6. ^ "Escaping Gloriavale Lilia's Life Inside A Cult". Magzter. 4 September 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  7. ^ Bayer, Kurt (1 August 2019). "Former Gloriavale member convicted of child sex abuse". The New Zealand Herald. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  8. ^ "Gloriavale leader dies: Bizarre world of Hopeful Christian". The New Zealand Herald. 15 May 2018. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  9. ^ "Fake 'Rhythm and Gloriavale' open day draws attention". Otago Daily Times. 20 January 2020. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  10. ^ Wynn, Kirsty (26 August 2017). "Women expected to serve and 'submit to men', ex-Gloriavale member says". NewstalkZB. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  11. ^ Reynolds, Emma (30 August 2017). "Life after Gloriavale, the repressive cult run by an Australian sex offender". News.com.au. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  12. ^ Black, Eleanor (27 August 2020). "Life after Gloriavale: Hopeful Christian's granddaughter speaks out". Stuff.co.nz. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  13. ^ "'I'm sexy and I know it' – Ex-Gloriavale member speaks out about women's repression within the church". 1 News. 27 August 2020. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  14. ^ Nageth, Ashitha (3 September 2017). "Woman reveals what it was like to grow up in an oppressive religious cult". Metro. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  15. ^ "Gloriavale leader Hopeful Christian dies". NewstalkZB. 15 May 2018. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  16. ^ Bayer, Kurt (1 August 2019). "Former Gloriavale member convicted of child sex abuse". NewstalkZB. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  17. ^ "Former Gloriavale member convicted of child sex abuse". Otago Daily Times. 1 August 2019. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  18. ^ Christmass, Pip (1 September 2017). "'We had to submit and obey': Woman reveals how she escaped repressive cult". Yahoo! News. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  19. ^ a b c "Ex-Gloriavale member tells of life inside the cult". Now To Love. 19 September 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  20. ^ "Daughter of Gloriavale founder Hopeful Christian: 'We grieve the loss of a part of our heritage'". The New Zealand Herald. 16 May 2018. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  21. ^ "Fleeing Gloriavale: Life inside the religious community". Checkpoint. 28 August 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  22. ^ Tarawa, Lilia (25 September 2014). "Working outside the business box". Stuff.co.nz. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  23. ^ "Former Gloriavale member speaking at Matamata biz awards". Stuff.co.nz. 30 July 2018.
  24. ^ "Ex-Gloriavale member looks to reconnect with Māori roots". Te Ao Maori News. 31 August 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  25. ^ "'Wearing that dress was all about being undesirable' – Ex-Gloriavale member". 1 News. 27 August 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  26. ^ a b Black, Eleanor (27 August 2017). "Life after Gloriavale: Hopeful Christian's granddaughter speaks out". Stuff.co.nz. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  27. ^ "Finding Lilia". 1 News. 27 August 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  28. ^ "Full interview: Sunday meets Lilia, who is trying to reprogramme her mind after a lifetime of propaganda at Gloriavale". 1 News. 28 August 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  29. ^ Wynn, Kirsty (28 August 2017). "Powerful book lifts lid on life in Gloriavale community". The New Zealand Herald. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  30. ^ van Beynen, Martin (18 May 2020). "Our fascination with Gloriavale is all about secrets, sex and salvation". Stuff.co.nz. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  31. ^ Law, Tina (27 December 2020). "eBook popularity soars in Christchurch thanks to Covid-19 lockdown". Stuff.co.nz. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  32. ^ Snedker, Rick (27 March 2020). "New Zealand woman recounts growing up in hellish 'heavenly' cult". Patheos. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  33. ^ "Former Gloriavale member died 'uninsured, cut off from family'". NewstalkZB. 8 January 2019. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  34. ^ "Former Gloriavale member Jeremy Max died uninsured and cut off from reclusive religious community". The New Zealand Herald. 8 January 2019. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  35. ^ Harvey, Megan (20 January 2020). "Fake 'Rhythm and Gloriavale' open day goes viral". The New Zealand Herald. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  36. ^ "Gloriavale document swears members to secrecy". The New Zealand Herald. 7 April 2018. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  37. ^ "JDR chat to ex-Gloriavale member Lilia Tarawa". The Edge. 4 September 2017. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  38. ^ Harper, Hillary (2 October 2017). "Growing up in a religious cult". ABC. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  39. ^ "Breakfast speaker once at Gloriavale". Otago Daily Times. 25 February 2020. Retrieved 6 April 2021.
  40. ^ "Gloriavale leader dies: Bizarre world of Hopeful Christian". The New Zealand Herald. 15 May 2018. Retrieved 7 April 2021.

External links[edit]

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