Wikipedia:Peer review/Clint Eastwood/archive1

Clint Eastwood[edit]

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Dr. Blofeld has spent considerable time over the last few years in expanding this article from a limited coverage of Eastwood's career into a comprehensive look at the various aspects of his career and life. The article makes use of multiple free images and numerous citations from a variety of fields. We'd like to see what areas need to be improved to bring the article up from GA to FA. All comments are welcomed. Happy reviewing! --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 01:38, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This reads well and looks comprehensive. It's an interesting account of a quite famous actor and director. My suggestions are mainly about small things and should not take a lot of time to address.

The Manual of Style advises against linking terms inside of direct quotations. This would apply to the many linked terms inside the quote boxes throughout the article.
I've removed the links in the quotes. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I'd suggest running through the article to look for overlinking. Since the links grab a reader's attention, it's good to aim for not-too-few and not-too-many, if you can figure out just what that is. I think it would be helpful to cut back on at least some of the duplicative links. For example, Rawhide is linked in the lead, then again in "Early career struggles", again in the "Rawhide" section (as well as the quote box) here and another quote box later, and again in "Filmography". I might have missed some other "Rawhides", not sure. Generally, one link in the lead and one in the main text is enough, I think. I'm sure I could find other examples like "Rawhide".
For an article of this length, I usually prefer to have some articles linked to several times. Readers may skip over the lead or not read the entire article. This only occurs for a few links throughout the article. I've removed one of the occurrences of Rawhide though. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"Eastwood established his own production company, Malpaso, in 1967 with Irving Leonard, which has since produced the vast majority of films Eastwood has been involved in, producing with Warner Bros. since the mid 1970s." - I would modify this sentence slightly to avoid the repetition of "produce" three times. Maybe something like this: "Eastwood established his own company, Malpaso, in 1967 with Irving Leonard. It has produced the vast majority of films involving Eastwood and has worked in tandem with Warner Bros. since the mid-1970s."
That was worded well so I used that. Nicely put. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"have all received commercial success and/or critical acclaim" - I don't think commercial success can be "received", and the front slash is ambiguous. Could this be modified slightly? I'd make a more specific suggestion, but I'm not sure what the front slash means. Does it mean that all that were not commercially successful won critical acclaim? Perhaps something like "all achieved commercial or critical success"?
The slash indicates that the films may have had both or only commercial and critical success. Many films do really well with critics and bomb at the box office or vice versa. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

raised in a "middle class Protestant home" with his younger sister, Jean. - The Manual of Style advises against linking anything inside a direct quote. In this case, I'm not sure you need the quotation marks since the quoted material is short and unspectacular, and you have sourced the phrase so clearly. If you remove the quotation marks, the links are fine.
Agree that no quotation marks are necessary. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"including a lifeguard, paper carrier, grocery clerk, forest firefighter, and golf caddy" - Would it be useful to link caddy?
It seems straightforward, but if others think it's not that common we can add it. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"worked at a Signal Oil gas station by night" - Would it be useful to link "Signal Oil" to AlliedSignal?
I just removed the link as it's not really that relevant to his article. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Early career struggles

"as a sailor in Francis in the Navy, and appeared uncredited in another Jack Arnold film, Tarantula, where he played a squadron pilot." - Maybe "in which" rather than "where"?
Replaced. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"In May 1955, Eastwood put four hours' work into the film Never Say Goodbye, during which he shares a scene with Rock Hudson." - I'm not quite sure what "four hours' work" refers to. Is this the amount of time he spent with the filming crew? Does it include the time he spent learning his lines?
The text was there likely to improve the flow and add some variety to his initial roles, but I condensed it to "an appearance" to avoid any hidden meanings/confusion for readers. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"a film which Eastwood viewed disastrously and professes to be the lowest point of his career." - Maybe "viewed as disastrous"?
Reworded. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Rawhide

"The Rawhide years (1959–65) were some of the most grueling of Eastwood's career, often filming six days a week for an average of twelve hours a day, yet he still received criticism by some directors for not working hard enough." - Not quite grammatical. Suggestion: "The Rawhide years (1959–65) were some of the most grueling of Eastwood's career. He often filmed six days a week for an average of twelve hours a day, yet some directors still criticized him for not working hard enough."
Reworded as suggested. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1960s

"Despite Eastwood being a non-smoker, Leone insisted" - Slightly smoother might be "Although Eastwood was a non-smoker... ".
Reworded, but went with "is" to stay consistent. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"challenging the stereotypical American notions of a western hero with a morally ambiguous antihero." - I think some readers might misinterpret this to mean that the stereotypical western hero was a morally ambiguous antihero. Perhaps "challenging the stereotypical American notions of a western hero by replacing him with a morally ambiguous antihero"?
Reworded. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Instead of using "today" in the caption, "Set of The Good, Bad and the Ugly in Almeria today", I'd use "2009" (plucked from the license page).
Fixed the caption. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"One day, during the filming of the scene in which the bridge is blown up with dynamite," - Maybe "a bridge" rather than "the bridge" since no bridge has been mentioned up to this point?
Fixed. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1970s

...according to Eastwood and Lang, flopped because it was poorly publicized and Eastwood being "emasculated in the film". - Somewhat smoother might be: ...according to Eastwood and Lang, flopped because it was poorly publicized and because Eastwood was "emasculated in the film".
I reworded it a little differently, take a look and see if it works. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"1971 proved to be a turning point in Eastwood's career." - The Manual of Style advises against starting a sentence with digits. Something like "Eastwood's career reached a turning point in 1971" might be better.
I've been watching that for a while, and I've reworded it. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:08, 23 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"he and Eastwood had discussed that Malpaso should produce" - Maybe "had decided" rather than "had discussed" or perhaps "had discussed the idea of having Malpaso produce... "?
Reworded as suggested. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
"Kay Lenz was awarded the part of Breezy, due to Locke being too old at 26." - Maybe "Kay Lenz was awarded the part of Breezy, because Locke, at 26, was too old"?
Reworded. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1980s

"In 1982, Eastwood directed and starred in Honkytonk Man alongside his son Kyle, based on Clancy Carlile's novel set during the Great Depression. about an aspiring country music singer named Red Stovall." - Something's wrong here with the punctuation, and perhaps half a sentence is missing?

Removed the incomplete sentence. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1990s

"1991 was only the third year in Eastwood's career" - Rearrange to avoid starting the sentence with digits?
Incorporated it into the next sentence. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

"only the third year in Eastwood's career where he did not have a film" - Maybe "during which" rather than "where"?
I reworded the two sentences to break it up and help address the above point, please take a look. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]
The quote box and the image create a text sandwich between them. To avoid that, it would be good to move the quote box down a few lines.
Rearranged it a bit. I also removed a line from the prior quote to cut down on its length. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Relationships

"She sued him a second time for fraud regarding a phony directing deal he gave her... " - Should that be "alleged phony directing deal"? Since they settled out of court, how can we be sure?
That would probably help with any NPOV concerns. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Awards and honors

"He is also, at age 74, the oldest recipient of the Academy Award for Best Director." - Probably needs a citation.
It's already sourced above in the 2000s section. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Other

The dab checker in the toolbox at the top of this review page finds five links that go to disambiguation pages instead of their intended targets.
Fixed. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)
I've already looked over Internet searches and revisiting book sources while searching additional sources for this article to ensure content is original or quoted. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 00:48, 24 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider commenting on any other article at WP:PR. I don't usually watch the PR archives or make follow-up comments. If my suggestions are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 21:00, 21 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to review the article and making other fixes. I'll work on addressing these later this week. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 04:04, 22 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]