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I will get on with this today; a review is long overdue for you! --K. Peake 19:10, 30 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hey! I'll thank you again for your interview on "Why Don't You Play in Hell?". There were a few comments from that review that I meant to implement here too, but I guess I never got around to it. I'll implement these really quickly; I hope it isn't a hassle. IanTEB (talk) 19:40, 30 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Oh sorry I saw this after completing the review since I had not refreshed; here is the revision from the time in case of any conflicts with comments. --K. Peake 21:33, 30 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Shouldn't the genres be listed as rock and pop in the infobox?
Done
Move the arranged credit to the third sentence of the lead instead
Done
What I meant here is for you to keep the previous sentence that was included about arrangement, but have it be the one straight after release. --K. Peake 06:50, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Is it okay to keep it as it is now? "Gag" being the only single not arranged by Hoshino is a pretty minor detail in the body and I'm unsure if it should have even been in the lead in the first place.
The genre description in the lead is not accurate; it is described as a pop and Japanese rock song in the body, while it is inaccurately shown the other way round here
Changed in body
The body now lists Japanese rock and J-pop instead of only one; the genres should be Japanese rock and pop per the translation of the source, so change this consistently please. --K. Peake 06:50, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I've changed it to "Japanese rock and pop" with a pipelink to J-pop, since ポップス in Japanese always refers to J-pop.
""Gag" was written by Hoshino" → "it was written by Hoshino" and wouldn't adding the release year of the manga be suitable here?
Done. New issues of Saint Young Men is still being released. I've added "(2006–)" but I'm unsure if this is the correct way for these cases. I also wonder if it won't be confusing as if the year is for the film adaption or the manga, but I will trust your judgement.
The second para should have critical reception followed by commercial performance
Done
Regarding critical reception, make this the part beginning with upon release and I would suggest splitting into two sentences after you mention the first part of how the composition was commented on to avoid a run-on, also the award should come directly after critics and then commercial performance for the completely correct order
I've reworked the sentence per your suggestions.
"reached No. 4 on" → "reached number four on" per MOS:NUM
Done
"No. 8 on" → "number eight on" per above
Done
You do not need to use the term "film" next to Saint Young Men since it has already been introduced
The quote "aimlessly" does not appear to be sourced unless this is a translator issue on my side and if it is in the source, re-invoke the ref per usage of a direct quote
Removed quotation.
"Advancing from the album he wanted" → "Advancing from the album, he wanted"
Done
"to the anime film adaptation" → "to the 2013 anime film adaptation" with the wikilink
Done
"song[2] with light and" → "song,[2] with light and" plus [3] also mentions an anime tempo which you should add
This one was missed. --K. Peake 06:50, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
My apologies.
"manga that he loves" is not showing as a quote unless my translator is just faulty; change to his favorite manga if this is not a translation issue, per the source
I've changed it to "one of his favorite manga series", since his comment doesn't specify it as his absolute favorite.
The translation on both the source shows as Daichi Ito; you should change to this
The source says that it is a re-release of all of Hoshino's singles and also lists "Gag" on the track listing. I've just removed it, though. Such compilation albums aren't that relevant
"with a nice atmosphere." → "with a comfortable atmosphere." per the source
I've changed it to "pleasant" since I believe it's more accurate looking at the source.
"honest" should not be in quotes
Done
"the guitar phrase of Ryosuke Nagaoka" → "the guitar phrase of Nagaoka"
Done
Oguri's quotes about "Dust" are not backed up by the source
The text is a little unusual so it might not translate properly. The text is "②は①から一転、部屋で一人しっとり聴きたい曲". Numbers represent the songs on the track listing.
Neither of CDJournal nor Koike's quotes appear to be sourced for the B-side
The CDJournal source's comments about the B-side is "カップリングももちろん捨て曲ナシ" (coupling song = B-side). Koike's comments is the review's last paragraph. Is my interpretation inaccurate?
Copyvio score looks non existent and while this is likely because of translations, I see no instances anywhere close to overquoting so you are in the clear!!!
Fix any dead links using the tool
The bot turned up no dead links. Is there anything in particular you found was broken?
I do not see any editorial process for Skream! on ref 2; remove or replace unless you can provide justification
Skream! is a decently respected magazine in Japan, running since 2009. They've conducted interviews with several high-profile artists, such as the one cited. Regardless, since it is an interview, would it not count more towards being a primary source? I might be mistaken.
On hold until all of the issues are fixed, nothing too heavy to handle even though a few areas are messy it's in decent shape. --K. Peake 21:33, 30 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Kyle Peake: I believe I've responded to most of your comments. A lot of my issues were stupid and I should've realized them looking over the article, but I really appreciate your review. IanTEB (talk) 22:27, 30 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@IanTEB: I have been working today, hence the slower replies, however please change the heading to digital download in the track listing since that signifies the type, archive the Oricon links if you can as these are the dead ones and re-add the arrangement sentence to the lead because it is too small the first para currently. --K. Peake 10:14, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Kyle Peake: I'm afraid I don't know what Oricon link is dead. Ref 26 is live, whereas 20 and 24 are both subscription sources and, as such, unfortunately not archivable. I've changed the track listing heading to CD single and digital download, with another source for the CD release. I'm not exactly sure how relevant the arrangement sentence was to summarizing the topic, but I've re-added it after the release sentence (and also expanded a bit on the musical style) per your request. IanTEB (talk) 10:52, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
✓Pass now, I quickly copy edited but this article is in fantastic shape! --K. Peake 14:01, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you once again for the review! I apologize if I caused any irritation. IanTEB (talk) 14:14, 31 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
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are unassessed)
Done
On hold until all of the issues are fixed, nothing too heavy to handle even though a few areas are messy it's in decent shape. --K. Peake 21:33, 30 May 2024 (UTC)
