Sorry, I've Got No Head

Sorry, I've Got No Head
Genre	Satire Sketch comedy
Created by	Jeremy Salsby
Directed by	Ian Curtis
Starring	William Andrews David Armand James Bachman Marcus Brigstocke Fergus Craig Anna Crilly Toby Davies Justin Edwards Mark Evans Mel Giedroyc Kobna Holdbrook-Smith Marek Larwood Nick Mohammed Javone Prince
Theme music composer	The Newsmakers
Opening theme	La La
Ending theme	La La (reprise)
Composer	The Newsmakers
Country of origin	United Kingdom
Original language	English
No. of series	3
No. of episodes	39
Production
Executive producer	Graham Stuart
Producer	Tom Miller
Production company	So Television
Original release
Network	CBBC BBC One BBC Three
Release	17 June 2008 (2008-06-17) – 12 August 2011 (2011-08-12)

Sorry, I've Got No Head was a CBBC children's sketch comedy television series. The programme's cast originally consisted of William Andrews, David Armand, James Bachman, Marcus Brigstocke, Anna Crilly, Justin Edwards, Mark Evans, Mel Giedroyc, Marek Larwood, Toby Davies and Nick Mohammed, most of whom also wrote parts of the show.

The first series began in 2008, where sketches included Jasmine and Prudith, who think everything will cost "a thousand pounds", and the Fearsome Vikings, who are scared of everything.

The second series began in 2009 and featured two new cast members; Kobna Holdbrook-Smith and Fergus Craig. Marek Larwood did not appear in this series. New sketches include Embarrassed Louise, who struggles to deal with an unusual problem; an angry Snowman, who battles for equality in everyday life; and a sitcom featuring a family of dung beetles.

The third and final series started in May 2011. Javone Prince and a returning Marek Larwood appeared in the new series. Repeats were shown on CBBC until 2014.

The show started airing on YTV Canada in late 2009, and series 2 started airing in late 2010.

Pixelface, another programme by CBBC, is inspired by the Backstage Access sketches.

Sketches

Introduced in Series 1

• Headless Bill, a man with no head who gets into some sticky situations and who gives the show its name. Appears in series 1–2.
• Jasmine and Prudith, who believe everything will cost a thousand pounds, despite what the person they're interacting with says. Appear in every series.
• The Fearsome Vikings who are scared of everything. Appear in every series.
• Emily and Monty Forrest, a brother and sister duo act who try to get a performance in a show, but fail at getting the part when a routine of theirs goes horribly wrong. Appear in every series.
• Advice Man, who suggests really stupid things to not to do that he obviously has done, such as lending clothes to the Incredible Hulk or spending pocket money on robotic legs. Appeared in series 1, returned in series 3.
• The Witchfinder General, who dresses in clothing of the early 17th century period. When he finds himself annoyed by someone, normally Mel Giedroyc, he points at them and declares them a witch, and a mob of peasants come in and carry them away. Appears in every series.
• Blueberries, in which a lady hosting a cooking show flatulates whenever she talks or thinks about blueberries, often with her hair being blown. Appears in every series.
• The Outer Hebridean Island of North Barassay, where the school has only one teacher and one pupil. Appears in every series.
• The parents. In the first series, they buy their son only half a thing because he hasn't done well enough (i.e. a bike with no wheels or a kite with no sheet) then tell him if he does better they will buy him the other half, to which he asks "Can I go upstairs?". He is seen using the thing later on in the episode. In the second series, they congratulate their son on accomplishing something and treat him into going out, but unfortunately they bring up stuff that they had to pay for, so leave him at home with a babysitter, who is also one of his teachers. In the third series, they try to convince their son not to do what he was going to do, such as play in a football match. The son is swayed at first and decides not to do it, then later changes his mind and tells them firmly that he is going to do it. The father then says he will do something silly like eat his own hat or wear women's clothing if his son does do well. The son ends up telling his parents that he did really well, resulting in the father keeping his promise. Appears in every series.
• The man or woman who starts out with a simple problem, at which point the narrator points out that he/she is a complete idiot (e.g. trying to dial a potato instead of a phone or using a fish as toilet paper) and starts shouting at him/her. Appears in series 1 and series 3.
• Harry Bolds, a man who tries to do extreme activities like canoeing. He shows off his gear, usually expensive and excessive items that the 'bloke at the shop' has tricked him into buying. Harry Bolds brings his own odd items also, such as a Kendal Mint Cake or a book 'in case he gets bored'. After he does the activity, however, he is shown in bad condition and says that it's not for him. In series 2, he has an assistant called Terry Brave who, when he says it's not for him, says he 'quite liked it'. Appears in series 1-2
• Bee. When something ordinary is going on like someone in a recording studio, someone will always hear a buzzing sound. Another person would ask if there is a bee in here, then the camera will turn to a man dressed up as a bee in the room. The first sketch on the show. Only appeared in series 1.
• Steve, a boy with a time machine which he uses to go into the future to spoil something for his friend Frank, despite promising to go into the future to do something else, such as 'seeing if everyone is still wearing hats in 2015'. Appeared in series 1.
• Billy, an imaginary friend who throws a fit every time he is offered a real item and not an imaginary item. After Billy throws a fit, his friend and the other person usually leave, to which Billy indulges in the same 'real' thing he rejected. Appeared in series 1.
• The Bluebeards. A pirate family whose son Jim Bluebeard struggles with his life at a Privateer school. Appeared in series 1.
• Goth man. A man who likes and owns everything that's black. Only appeared in series 1.
• Shouty Choir. A choir that instead of sings, shouts every single word. Appeared in series 1.
• Timothy and his mother, who try to beat the traffic to get to school on time, but always fail. Appears in series 1-2
• A father who reads a bedtime story to his nine-year-old son. The son doesn't buy it, and tells his father that he did something an adult would do, such as landing a plane or helping David Tennant with loss of his sense of taste. Appears in series 1–2.
• Marion Clark, a parody of Jeremy Clarkson and Top Gear. Appeared in series 1.
• The Secret Negotiator, a woman who sends messages to a boy to convince someone like his parents or his teacher to let him do something like stay up late or change his grade. It usually ends with her persuading the boy to throw a tantrum which backfires later (e.g. he falls asleep in class). Appeared in series 1.
• A man with various jobs, like a bomb disarming officer or a surgeon, tells his colleagues that he didn't really want to do this and has had no experience. He says that he wanted to be something else like a belly dancer or a punk rocker, but is caught by a police officer who "had warned him about this before" and chases after him. Only appeared in series 1.
• Paintball Mania! A man who goes around paint balling various people. Appeared in series 1.
• Grunbendior the Magnificent, a wizard who tries to help out with everyday problems, irritating his friends in the process. Appeared in series 1.
• Jones the Sage (Clive the Wise in the series finale), a sage who is asked various questions from the public, but his answers mainly concern sheep rather than the question asked. Appeared in series 1.
• Bert and Alf. Two elderly gentleman who reminisce about one of their long lost friends and agree that they would have liked a certain pop star. Only appeared in series 1.
• Two men are about to watch a movie on their DVD player, but one accidentally selects the language in a different country causing the background to change into a setting from the country and the other guy to dress up as something from that particular country. E.g. Egypt, a mummy. Appeared in series 1.
• The Waveman, a guy who likes to start a Mexican wave in a public place and shouts "boo" when someone doesn't do it. Appears in series 1-2
• Backstage Access, a sketch featuring the daily lives of video game characters. Appears in series 1–2.
• A father who fails when testing his knowledge on school subjects his son is doing, and claims things have changed since his time. Appeared in series 1.
• A mother reads a rhyme to her baby and the father scientifically corrects the rhyme. Appeared in series 1.
• A police officer arrests people for doing things such as painting a fence, or eating a packet of crisps. After being told by his superior to let the people go, he still leaves his suspects in handcuffs. Appeared in series 1.
• A living angel statue street performer who does unusual things. Only appears in the last two episodes of series 1.

Introduced in Series 2

• Embarrassed Louise, who inflates to a great size whenever she is embarrassed and then explodes. Appears in series 2–3.
• The Angry Snowman, who is not allowed near things that get very hot, and then accuses people of "discrimination". He ends up melting or losing part of his body. Appears in series 2–3.
• Deer Club, a club of people who dress up and do deer-related things. Only appeared in series 2.
• The Dung Beetles, a family of dung beetles who behave in a sitcom manner. Appeared in series 2.
• Phillipe Lavavaseur, the French exchange student, who has lived with Danny's father for twenty years and makes Danny's life a misery. In series 2, Danny tries to get his father to convince him to leave. In series 3, Danny finds out that Phillipe can speak English and plans to tell his father but Phillipe prevents it since he likes living in England. In the French dub, he is a Canadian exchange student. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Museum of Imagination, where Mr Elevenses and Mr Faraway show unwitting guests imaginary exhibits, then unveil a real one after they storm out. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Dinner Lady, who presses the Big Red Button of Doom if any student or staff falls for her traps. In one episode, she is named as Daisy MacLovelypops. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Beekeeper who finds people having trouble in life and promises them that "maybe [his] bees can help". His bees prove unhelpful when they attack him after he removes his protective gear, but then the problem is usually resolved. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Office of International World Records, where a guy comes in every day and tries (and fails) to break a record. Appears in series 2-3.
• The Hot or Not girls. Girls at a bus stop discuss things that are either hot or not, then when the leader does something like drop her ice cream, she would say it is hot, which prompts the other girls to do it. In series 3, there are two girls in a school who say something is hot and after a long debate, declare it is "so not hot". Appears in series 2–3.
• The doctor who diagnoses people with weird ailments, such as a paparazzi, or becoming a mime artist. In series 2, the doctor is male, and in series 3, the doctor is female. Appears in series 2–3.
• The Cake Man, who uses every means possible to steal cake. Appears in series 2–3.
• The Zombie Games 2009, involving zombies trying to take part in sports but losing their limbs. Appeared in series 2.
• The Noisy Knights, whose armour causes a lot of noise which makes them believe that it's something else. Appeared in series 2.
• Josh, a nervous ghost who has trouble communicating with other people, scaring them in the process. Appeared in series 2.
• Gerald, a man who usually confuses something for something he usually wants. e.g., giving someone a Mahican instead of a short, back and sides. Appears in series 2–3.
• Tammy, a normal girl who is interrupted by a storyteller when she is doing something important like attending a wedding. The storyteller reveals something to the public which Tammy knows about, and later claims her to have 'blown it'. Appeared in series 2.
• A man who plays a sport-related video game on a Nintendo Wii has a friend round wanting to join him, but since the man has only one controller, the other guy has brought his own sport equipment which interacts with the game and causes the first guy to get hurt. Appeared in series 2.
• A lifeguard who blows his whistle at various people doing things like stepping on cracks or singing off-key. Appeared in series 2.
• Boy scouts who try to help out a couple by building things for them inside their own house, e.g. a garden shed. Appeared in series 2.
• A man who takes handfuls of party food from a buffet table, only to declare that the food is not for him but for someone else, usually a wooden dummy/doll. Appeared in series 2.

Introduced in Series 3

• Jasper the Dog, who always goes missing and is found buying something from a shop or helping some random person
• Colin and Malcolm, two overweight aeroplane attendants that eat all of their food for some made-up reason
• Eddie Bigg, a guy with a massive afro who insists that his friend have the biggest possible things e.g. a football or chips
• Tony Take It, who lives down the back of the sofa and steals things
• Dean the "superhero", whose mother insists he has powers and forces him to wear a silly costume
• Remote Control Legs Man, who tries to live an ordinary life despite the fact that his legs require a remote control to move
• Clive the clown who lives a normal life, but when he sees a custard pie, throws it in peoples' faces off-screen, feeling sorry about it later
• The Zombie News Network, a news-style insight into daily zombie life. Similar to Zombie Games from series 2.
• Sticky Martin, whose hands get stuck to everything
• The man who complains about a terrible smell while waiting for a bus, then eventually launches something from his nose
• The Lady Tourist, who tells people where something is (e.g. swimming pool) and tells them to demonstrate the activities there (showing different swim strokes).
• Experimenter Boy, a man who tries to sort out his friend's problems by making inventions for him which always backfire.
• Simon, a boy who tries many different ideas for a school fete which involves something dangerous.
• A man who thinks he bought a mouse trap, then discovers his mistake when his wife sees a mouse and finds out he got a different trap. For example, a Santa Claus trap. The sketch ends with a mouse holding a bit of cheese and laughing. In one sketch he assures her that he did indeed buy a mouse trap, but he bought a giant mouse trap (which traps a 'giant mouse').

One-episode sketches

• A knight (William Andrews) who goes through a metal detector which beeps, he ends up putting his keys and watch in the bowl, and when he goes through the metal detector a second time it stays silent. Series 1, Episode 1
• Old Wives' Tales Hospital, where patients have conditions based on old wives' tales, such as having a funny face after the wind changed or square eyes from watching too much television. Series 1, Episode 4
• A waiter (Marek Larwood) who eats most of a couple's orders. Series 1, Episode 8
• A man (Marcus Brigstocke) who keeps shouting "football." Series 1, Episode 9
• A football news and results programme hosted by a man (James Bachman) that usually revolves an announcer (William Andrews) always shouting goal, another man (Marek Larwood) usually doing something else which the host thinks is football related but really it is not, like watching a rugby game instead of a Portsmouth game he was supposed to be covering, and a malfunctioning computer. Series 1, Episode 9
• A referee (William Andrews) that runs backwards and forwards and ends up falling over. Series 1, Episode 10
• A group of people in a lift, hear a fart sound and then a man (William Andrews) explains that it's his ringtone. When he answers a call, he actually farts. Series 1, Episode 11
• A parody of Mastermind with Job man and Goth man as two of the contestants, Job man, as usual, ends up saying he barely knows anything about the topic given and is then chased by the police man offscreen who "warned him about this before" whereas the goth man ends up getting all the questions correct and wins (all the answers were "black"). Series 1, Episode 12

Cast

All cast members appear in every series unless otherwise indicated.

Main Characters	Played By
Tony the Dung Beetle, Colin, Harry bold, Monty Forest, Jasmine, Philippe the 40-year-old French exchange student, Marion Clarke, Peter Forest (Emily and Monty's dad)	Marcus Brigstocke
Mark the Record Breaker, Cake eater, Ross, Prudith, Jasper the Dog, Bee keeper, Ben Moatsman/Goth man, Sticky Martin, Eric the Viking (Series 2), Alex Ferguson, Gerald, "You're nine" dad, "You're nine" son (series 2), Bee, Lifeguard, Heidi, Steve, Marcus Beard	James Bachman
Aethelwyne, Mr. Elevensies, Tony, Maxwell the Dung Beetle, Drew, Danny (Eddie big), Bad Mum and Dad's son, Nose Man, Frank (Steve's friend), Job man police officer, Trap Buyer, Michael Saransaronson	William Andrews
Embarrassed Louise, Tammy, Susan, Cindy the Dung beetle, Dinner Lady, Brunhilde, Valery Carpenter, Blueberry Woman, Claireparker, Amanda, Sylvi, Sades, Bad Mum, The Secret Negotiator, Trap Buyer's wife, Gretel	Anna Crilly
Headless Bill, Angry Snowman, Malcom, Mr. Tomothy Faraway, Witchfinder General, Ross' Grandad, Angel Statue, Rex Dynamo (Pixelface), Timothy, Dean the Superhero, Hansel, Jim Bluebeard, Alan Sugar, Ben	David Armand
Archie, Clive the Clown, Viking Chief, Danny (Philipe)'s dad, World Record Executive, Prudith (Series 1, Episode 12), Clive the Wise's Dad, Jim Bluebeard's Dad, Grunbendior, Job man	Justin Edwards
Jasper the Dog's owner, Barbra the Dung Beetle, Timothy's Mum, Joy(ce), Emily Forest, Dr. Armani's mum, Ben's mum, Jades, Doctor (Series 3), Jim Bluebeard's mum, Mrs Perkins, Gillian the Nurse, Lesley, North Barrasay Narrator, Tammy's Mum, Francesca (Frank's sister), Gillian Forest (Emily and Monty's mum), the Lady tourist	Mel Giedroyc
Eddie Big, Erik the Viking, Headmaster, Frank (Dinner Lady)	Javone Prince (Series 3)
Waveman (Series 1), Advice Man, Remote Control Legs Man, Tony-take-it, "You're nine" son (Series 1), Experimenter, Eric the Viking (Series 3)	Marek Larwood (Series 1 and 3)
Problem man, Dr Armani, Victim of Jasmine and Prudiths "A Thousand Pounds" rants, Rex Dynamo (Backstage access)	Nick Mohammed
Ben (Tony Take It), Terry Brave, Waveman (Series 2), Sphen the Viking, Josh, Danny (Philipe), Simon, Leslie, Simon Cowell	Fergus Craig (Series 2–3)
Doctor (Series 2), Olaff the Viking (Series 2), Riley (Backstage Access)	Kobna Holdbrook-Smith (Series 2)
Ian McKellen, Emily and Monty's Casting Director	Toby Davies
Bad Dad, Tammy's storyteller, Old Wives' Tales Hospital doctor, Jones the Sage/Clive the wise, Reg Taylor	Mark Evans

Pixelface

Main article: Pixelface

A spin-off series called Pixelface was commissioned by the BBC and featured what the video game characters from the sketch "Backstage Access" get up to in their spare time. It began airing in January 2011.

External links

• Sorry, I've Got No Head at BBC Online
• Sorry, I've Got No Head at British Comedy Guide